You were on your way home when you died.
It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.
And that’s when you met me.
“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”
“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.
“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”
“Yup,” I said.
“I… I died?”
“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.
You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”
“More or less,” I said.
“Are you god?” You asked.
“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”
“My kids… my wife,” you said.
“What about them?”
“Will they be all right?”
“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”
You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”
“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”
“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”
“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”
“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”
You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”
“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”
“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”
“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”
I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.
“You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”
“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”
“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”
“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”
“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”
“Where you come from?” You said.
“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”
“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.”
“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”
“So what’s the point of it all?”
“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”
“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.
I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”
“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”
“No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”
“Just me? What about everyone else?”
“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”
You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”
“All you. Different incarnations of you.”
“Wait. I’m everyone!?”
“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.
“I’m every human being who ever lived?”
“Or who will ever live, yes.”
“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”
“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.
“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.
“And you’re the millions he killed.”
“I’m Jesus?”
“And you’re everyone who followed him.”
You fell silent.
“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”
You thought for a long time.
“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”
“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”
“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”
“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”
“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”
“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”
And I sent you on your way.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Today meh
Okay, so today was fine. Talked to Miss Huang (ohh yea!) asked her if she was alright and stuff... well... i guess she is tired ba... (:
Then... CERN OSAP interview! so weird, Mr Tan and Mrs Oon ask me so much nonrelated questions.
e.g. How was ASXC? The new PIG members how?
LIKE LOL
okay, then after that got the YDSP Lecture series, woohoo!
"ahn-ge-niaar jer-neh-rale the larm-more~" lol thats how to pronounce his rank IGA.
Roughly translated to (General of armamant (weapons) engineering). So cool! he told me about their military research ranking system. its like they use the ranks in armed forces too! so like got captain/officer of (weapons) engineering. xP so cool right?
Ohh and he is quite amiable dude lol, very approachable~ lol he is also assistant secretary of general military investment of NATO like some big shot man! and he is like flying off tonight back to France to have a conference to convince the international team to invest and put research into making an integrated "live" "scanning" system... like the model he came up with its like using UV, infrared sensors etc to scan a landscape and develop a system to give live integrated view of wherever you wanna see anywhere, from foot soldiers all the way up to generals. so cool! haha
hmm... then was hunting for jeehyun lol, and joker la i forgot his name, the year 5 dude, spencer was it? he thought i wooing her 0.0 tsk, then after a long search i finally could contact her (yippie) lol. but turns out she got cluster outing so avalable like meh.
OHHOHHOHH! then spent time with zhangxian and joanna!!! whee~ (: miss them haha! we ended up watching MVs and singing along haha, lol. It really struck me how it appears that zhangxian and joanna swap souls lor! now the used to be quite zhangxian talk so much... and the last time hyper joanna so quiet lo... :/ meh... nvm la! (: tmr gonna play nb with them!
Ohh, and mum slapped me cos NSC did not win this year. LIKE WHAT DOES IT GOT TO DO WITH ME?
Ohh, and mum rubbed my tummy with medicated oil cos i feel damn bloated (: yay! me wanna be a little boy again...
On to bio mindmaps people! bye~
Then... CERN OSAP interview! so weird, Mr Tan and Mrs Oon ask me so much nonrelated questions.
e.g. How was ASXC? The new PIG members how?
LIKE LOL
okay, then after that got the YDSP Lecture series, woohoo!
"ahn-ge-niaar jer-neh-rale the larm-more~" lol thats how to pronounce his rank IGA.
Roughly translated to (General of armamant (weapons) engineering). So cool! he told me about their military research ranking system. its like they use the ranks in armed forces too! so like got captain/officer of (weapons) engineering. xP so cool right?
Ohh and he is quite amiable dude lol, very approachable~ lol he is also assistant secretary of general military investment of NATO like some big shot man! and he is like flying off tonight back to France to have a conference to convince the international team to invest and put research into making an integrated "live" "scanning" system... like the model he came up with its like using UV, infrared sensors etc to scan a landscape and develop a system to give live integrated view of wherever you wanna see anywhere, from foot soldiers all the way up to generals. so cool! haha
hmm... then was hunting for jeehyun lol, and joker la i forgot his name, the year 5 dude, spencer was it? he thought i wooing her 0.0 tsk, then after a long search i finally could contact her (yippie) lol. but turns out she got cluster outing so avalable like meh.
OHHOHHOHH! then spent time with zhangxian and joanna!!! whee~ (: miss them haha! we ended up watching MVs and singing along haha, lol. It really struck me how it appears that zhangxian and joanna swap souls lor! now the used to be quite zhangxian talk so much... and the last time hyper joanna so quiet lo... :/ meh... nvm la! (: tmr gonna play nb with them!
Ohh, and mum slapped me cos NSC did not win this year. LIKE WHAT DOES IT GOT TO DO WITH ME?
Ohh, and mum rubbed my tummy with medicated oil cos i feel damn bloated (: yay! me wanna be a little boy again...
On to bio mindmaps people! bye~
Monday, September 26, 2011
So things cropped up
Yea, things cropped up.
1. History AQ do on wednesday night (bobian liao)
2. Chinese debate thingy do on wednesday afternoon between ric's lessons
BIO MUST DO TONIGHT!
ohh well... today was very tiring... emotionally, mentally, physically. meh, but overall... i enjoyed the day, the process of the day kinda was very shitty, but i feel that it still ended up better than it began! (: yay, even though i did not get to finish my work (work can go suck cock! xD) lol. haha
So what else? ohh, i screwed math test up, and i did not have to study for it at all lo. erm im actually feeling quite motivated to do bio, but wanna go take a nap first... yawn~ nap till 11? xD ask sis wake me up?
Meh, now got new limits. no computer usage between 12 midnight-6am. but ohh well, i guess such might instill some discipline in me! (: haha, lol...
I miss you, i miss all of you. Can't wait for the day in which i can spend time with each of you. more like the period of time when i can spend a day with each of you... just chilling out and having fun and htht maybe? xD
Giving up on materialistic goals and ideals...
what I wanted to say was that I lived my life without loving... but now... maybe its more like i still live without loving? but that i yearn for love? i dunnno... but maybe... it will get better (:
1. History AQ do on wednesday night (bobian liao)
2. Chinese debate thingy do on wednesday afternoon between ric's lessons
BIO MUST DO TONIGHT!
ohh well... today was very tiring... emotionally, mentally, physically. meh, but overall... i enjoyed the day, the process of the day kinda was very shitty, but i feel that it still ended up better than it began! (: yay, even though i did not get to finish my work (work can go suck cock! xD) lol. haha
So what else? ohh, i screwed math test up, and i did not have to study for it at all lo. erm im actually feeling quite motivated to do bio, but wanna go take a nap first... yawn~ nap till 11? xD ask sis wake me up?
Meh, now got new limits. no computer usage between 12 midnight-6am. but ohh well, i guess such might instill some discipline in me! (: haha, lol...
I miss you, i miss all of you. Can't wait for the day in which i can spend time with each of you. more like the period of time when i can spend a day with each of you... just chilling out and having fun and htht maybe? xD
Giving up on materialistic goals and ideals...
what I wanted to say was that I lived my life without loving... but now... maybe its more like i still live without loving? but that i yearn for love? i dunnno... but maybe... it will get better (:
The weekend
Woohoo, the weekend is over. the unproductive weekend is over, things are starting to get a bit more productive at the strike of 12. I only started revising for math properly since 12+ and now... i dunno, hopefully its enough revision. well... the weekend was epic slack. so slack i cant imagine it to be any slacker. somehow the only work i did was physics olympiad assignment questions 1-3 and question 2 done wrongly but whatever. THATS ALL. yea.
anyway... things to note for the next 2 days
Monday (Today):
Math Test (wheee~)
History AQ (CCA slot)
Chinese shit write-up thingy (2-3)
PIG meet the juniors session!!!! (3-4 OHYEA~!)
okay, first math test. revised already. no time to do practices so yea... last minute mugging during bio i presume? yes and then i made a little swap regarding history AQ and Chinese write-up thingy. cos i figured with the paper chinese write-up can be done in less than an hour an hence leave the longer 2 hour slot for history AQ
PIG SESSION!!!!! whee~ can't wait! well, the year 2s cant come. but not much for me, since i know ALL OF THE YEAR 2S le. xP so yea, gonna have fun i guess, with the year 3s, can get to know them AND OF COURSE CHEESENG AND YOS~~~ WHEEE~ (: and i can get to holler at CHEESE (yes you boy, dao my smses/calls) got nice phone still dont use!!! cannot sign up for designcentric ARP cos you never reply me!!! gar! but nvm (: i will enjoy scolding you tmr xP (if you somehow see this b4 then, fear it!) AHAHAHA
Monday Night!!
AND THE LONG PROCRASTINATED BIO MINDMAPS ARE TO BE DONE
yesyes, sorry miss huang but really. bio mindmaps. just. turn. me. off. BIG TIME. it is nothing against bio, nor you. nor mindmaps. its just graded bio mindmaps are retarded beyond compare. any graded mindmap/notes are cocked up. so yea. i will tell you (miss huang) that i will submit it all on tuesday. I dont know how you would feel or react, but yea. im sorry.
THEN SLEEP!!!
ohh... +chem prac (woopsy i forgot)
Tuesday...
wont be going PHYSICS OLYMPIAD (happy and sad) cos im gonna be emcee! OHHHHH AND NEEDA SHOUT AT MISS LI TOO!!! (Cheese, be glad, for now my attention has to be split up xD for later today) needa ask her about the script. it is so poorly written like come on! confirm she wrote it de lo. and it is meant for 1 person only. so yea. jihyun and I needa chiong edit it. which reminds me. that i needa record a few numbers cos i needa use them this/next week.
Did i mention that i can't use my phone this coming weekend? if no... I CANT USE MY PHONE THIS COMING WEEKEND! meh bleargh gar....
GOOD NIGHT AND SEE YOU ALL TOMORROW PEEPS AND GLHF FOR EVERYONE WHO HAS TEST COMING THIS WEEK BOOHOO~
(YEA! LONG POST HAH!)
anyway... things to note for the next 2 days
Monday (Today):
Math Test (wheee~)
History AQ (CCA slot)
Chinese shit write-up thingy (2-3)
PIG meet the juniors session!!!! (3-4 OHYEA~!)
okay, first math test. revised already. no time to do practices so yea... last minute mugging during bio i presume? yes and then i made a little swap regarding history AQ and Chinese write-up thingy. cos i figured with the paper chinese write-up can be done in less than an hour an hence leave the longer 2 hour slot for history AQ
PIG SESSION!!!!! whee~ can't wait! well, the year 2s cant come. but not much for me, since i know ALL OF THE YEAR 2S le. xP so yea, gonna have fun i guess, with the year 3s, can get to know them AND OF COURSE CHEESENG AND YOS~~~ WHEEE~ (: and i can get to holler at CHEESE (yes you boy, dao my smses/calls) got nice phone still dont use!!! cannot sign up for designcentric ARP cos you never reply me!!! gar! but nvm (: i will enjoy scolding you tmr xP (if you somehow see this b4 then, fear it!) AHAHAHA
Monday Night!!
AND THE LONG PROCRASTINATED BIO MINDMAPS ARE TO BE DONE
yesyes, sorry miss huang but really. bio mindmaps. just. turn. me. off. BIG TIME. it is nothing against bio, nor you. nor mindmaps. its just graded bio mindmaps are retarded beyond compare. any graded mindmap/notes are cocked up. so yea. i will tell you (miss huang) that i will submit it all on tuesday. I dont know how you would feel or react, but yea. im sorry.
THEN SLEEP!!!
ohh... +chem prac (woopsy i forgot)
Tuesday...
wont be going PHYSICS OLYMPIAD (happy and sad) cos im gonna be emcee! OHHHHH AND NEEDA SHOUT AT MISS LI TOO!!! (Cheese, be glad, for now my attention has to be split up xD for later today) needa ask her about the script. it is so poorly written like come on! confirm she wrote it de lo. and it is meant for 1 person only. so yea. jihyun and I needa chiong edit it. which reminds me. that i needa record a few numbers cos i needa use them this/next week.
Did i mention that i can't use my phone this coming weekend? if no... I CANT USE MY PHONE THIS COMING WEEKEND! meh bleargh gar....
GOOD NIGHT AND SEE YOU ALL TOMORROW PEEPS AND GLHF FOR EVERYONE WHO HAS TEST COMING THIS WEEK BOOHOO~
(YEA! LONG POST HAH!)
Friday, September 16, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
ASXC day
OKAY, damn depressing ASXC. We asked some science centre person to switch off our exhibit cos we left it on int he annexe and the person said she told her colleague and they switched it off le. Guess what! NO! they did not swtich it off... -.- our weakest laser overheated and by the time it was our turn to present, that laser barely shone and it looked stupid.
Then 1 judge was a cock. talk don't listen. like hello, people can know you are smart like being the awesome judge who is so awesome but i cant rmb his name: he was the smp dude and the guy at the first clinic. he is just super zai. so yea, this shit judge asked us a question but when i explain it to him, he thought i was bsing and did not even listen to me -.- lucky the nice dude told him to shuddup (in a nice way) our presentation was damn short. i dunno why. compared to the rest like 15 minutes ours was maximum 10 lo. but whatever. its over. I wanna get some prize!!!! like seriously all the hardwork xP wanna get some recognition for ASXC!!!
Okay then coming back to school. It poured,literally. got so damn wet. then in NUSHS, no rain at all. -.- we were all joking that maybe we should tell ppl we ran back to nushs from science centre. xP anyway, I came in like a boss, half way through mentoring, knock door walk in "sup guys! hi miss huang", then take a seat xP
well ace was kinda dumb anyway, conflict management, like... zzz....
then. CVL (: quite okay i have to say, im not complaining about him xP sitting next to punitha indeed makes me more mugger, never bring notes i still used foolscap paper to write stuff down and even attempted the questions xD
then afterwards went to try call mum tell her about the backup emcee thingy... but she never pick up... by the time i called her again, she already cooked rice le... so i went home. and then it was so awkward when i came home. i wanted to just kill myself like seriously the knife was just right infront of me. mum was like emoing and siansian, and i was like damn sad and feeling like shit. gosh... sent an apology email to caroline gordon then went to bathe. did my english letter (and finished it!) then im here now blogging...
okay i really suck right? i just left you there all by yourself? and you were saying that im not that bad? I miss you. I miss you so much.
Then 1 judge was a cock. talk don't listen. like hello, people can know you are smart like being the awesome judge who is so awesome but i cant rmb his name: he was the smp dude and the guy at the first clinic. he is just super zai. so yea, this shit judge asked us a question but when i explain it to him, he thought i was bsing and did not even listen to me -.- lucky the nice dude told him to shuddup (in a nice way) our presentation was damn short. i dunno why. compared to the rest like 15 minutes ours was maximum 10 lo. but whatever. its over. I wanna get some prize!!!! like seriously all the hardwork xP wanna get some recognition for ASXC!!!
Okay then coming back to school. It poured,literally. got so damn wet. then in NUSHS, no rain at all. -.- we were all joking that maybe we should tell ppl we ran back to nushs from science centre. xP anyway, I came in like a boss, half way through mentoring, knock door walk in "sup guys! hi miss huang", then take a seat xP
well ace was kinda dumb anyway, conflict management, like... zzz....
then. CVL (: quite okay i have to say, im not complaining about him xP sitting next to punitha indeed makes me more mugger, never bring notes i still used foolscap paper to write stuff down and even attempted the questions xD
then afterwards went to try call mum tell her about the backup emcee thingy... but she never pick up... by the time i called her again, she already cooked rice le... so i went home. and then it was so awkward when i came home. i wanted to just kill myself like seriously the knife was just right infront of me. mum was like emoing and siansian, and i was like damn sad and feeling like shit. gosh... sent an apology email to caroline gordon then went to bathe. did my english letter (and finished it!) then im here now blogging...
okay i really suck right? i just left you there all by yourself? and you were saying that im not that bad? I miss you. I miss you so much.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
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