Heh, a part of me wished I could tell you how horrible it has been.
But no. In actuality, I really have to say, life has been better since we went our ways, that I'm better off alone, at least, better off than we were.
Sure, many times it really felt horrible, losing you. Oh no, I didn't lose you, I threw you away. Yes I did. And I am sorry.
We've grown, though, from me throwing you away. Our eyes opened, and now, I feel unsure, and it seems, that you do as well, in this new light in which we see the world around us, I feel alone. Sometimes lonely, but forever alone. It's not the angst-y type of Alone that I used to hang so tightly to, not the me-against-the-world kind of Alone. More of an "I am Alone", the world goes on around me and it is up to me to choose where I go. People and other beings, they are all natural. And neutral. Natural and neutral. Neutral and natural. I may not know what drives them, but I sure can guess, I may not be able to control them, but I can control myself.
Enough of me, back to you. How will we be as friends? Tried talking to you so we could decide today... But well, Time permits us not to. Or maybe not. So let us try now.
No. No. No. I am still growing to understand my emotions. Hell, what was I feeling earlier today? Bad, oppression, His Gaze, His Words, I Shiver and irrational emotions overwhelm me once more.
No comments:
Post a Comment