Driving lesson #2

Oorah? I guess its supposed to be all exciting (my first 2 driving lessons) but no... I just feel like sleeping... and driving is really no big deal. It's pretty damn stressful actually, especially since my dad forced me to drive a manual transmission and I keep killing the engine (gosh i suck) I managed to kill the engine while executing a climbing curve: I just died right in the middle of the road. EPIC FAIL. Ignoring all my failures and all, I do agree with dad that driving in Indonesia is pretty damn hardcore. Motorcycles racing around you left right center. No lanes on the road. Humps and potholes all over. Hawkers walking around the road with wares and all. Man, can't believe you're allowed to drive in Indo with a Singapore license yet not the other way round XD Indonesia should be like the standard of driving for an international license! Like I have driven through the streets of hell so suck all! But I guess it doesn't work that way. I guess places like Brazil and Mexico would be worst/comparable eh?

Got a rundown of the family financial situation... Not too sad as I previously thought, but pretty damn sad too... Really must thank Susuk for tanking so much for my dad ohhwell... HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII...

Am supposed to be doing work for ARP offsite and all but as I knew would happen, nothing ever get's done when I'm so farrrr awayyyy... At least I keep tabs on the results of our daily lab results! THANK YOU LIKE CRAZY CLAIRE CHEONG! Have no clue how DCARP is... Been trying to learn up a bit online about Maxwell Equations but I can't freaking understand the integral forms... what bloody line integral of E field across an area?!!! I need ricardo damn.

Candlelight Carol parts singing is not too bad... I'm familiar with it but I need more practice before the first Christmas Choir Prac... My first official job as Bass Section Leader (can't screw it up)... It's really pathetic that I'm Bass SL, Jo can't read scores, and all the other basses are... jokers... Not that it's bad but... HAI... I'm like not the man for the job, but I'm the best choice left meehhhhh....

It's pretty funny how the incentive now for me to post on my blog is you and not you... Lol HAHA how is that supposed to sound? My lower right back still hurts... Dad thinks that swimming would help it but who knows. I got to eat my pudding! got 10 freaking puddings to eat 'cos I just decided to order one of each flavour to try! I think I should head down now after this post to eat... Then maybe i'll head over for a swim... WHY DO MY COUSINS HAVE SO MANY INSTRUMENTS! 2 guitars which are barely played, a super nice keyboard which is also barely played and I DUNNO WHAT ELSE THEY HAVE! William just pulled out a melodica randomly! I wanna play Siempre on it! It sounds so goooddddd although it's some kiddies version it still sounds so sexxxyyyyyyyy OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG.

How do I feel?

Very emotionless, very neutral and all. I guess I'm not working much with my emotions. You need to force me. Or maybe I can get Nic to force me... But Nic is all busy with his social life and all now... bleargh... can't wait to be back in Singapore, productivity in terms of everything is bound to increase... I feel so horrible, no self-discipline to push myself to work when I'm in such a comfortable position... Mehhhhhhh... It feels so different now, and I guess I'm afraid that's something wrong, I don't feel what I think I should be feeling about you (double meaning woah!) and I don't know why as well for both... Internet in Kintamani is not too bad... But somehow it seems that it hates Blogger. Or specifically the editting of Blogger (which includes writing a post) I stared at this screen for like 5 minutes before I could start typing OMG. That's why I'm trying to get as much down as possible on this today...

Ama needs an angioplasty but she doesn't want to do... And I really dunno. If she doesnt do it, it's dangerous and all... But if she does it, it's dangerous too, and she won't be able to go US with my cousins... maybe that is better for her? (to think about it... going to US with the blocked artery is damn dangerous...) Dad wants me to try to convince her to go for the surgery ASAP but it's like... Hai, how do I even talk to her about this kind of stuff? Language and culture epic barrier... How do I feel about this? Frankly speaking I don't care. Yea, that hurts doesn't it? I don't really care about when she does the Angio. Or at least that what I feel! Not much feeling in regards to this, or they are all bottled up. I need to pray and spend so much time for myself... Something I've been preaching but not doing much, eh? Haha... Please, help me with this when you're back, it's something I don't want to admit, but my lack of self-discipline is so urggghhh... Let's grow together, shall we? xD

What's a bit worrying is life in the future... Assuming I go for NTU Renaissance Engineering Program, that would mean I would leave Uni at 25... And I want kids before 28 (Damn), I dunno, it's like a very big benchmark for me, it sounds so trivial but to me, it is really important! I want to be relatively young when my kids are my age and all... I hope to be able to relate to them and have a solid relationship with them and all... Don't want to be brought down by illnesses and body breaking down effect so early in my children's life... Wanna play sports nicely with my kids HAHA (Dad can't play tennis much with me le, cos of his back SIAN) So I guess that's how my life will go... I really got to be able to succeed in life by 28 to get married and all in Singapore... Or maybe I have to work in Indo instead... It's really tempting and all... Working for my dad, (now that it seems there's quite a few things to do around here) but still... It's not what I want to do, but it is the nearest and most obvious mean to the goal of having kids by 28 and being able to decently support them... And I wouldn't at all be using anything I learn at REP. At least not much... AND I NEED A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE (DAMN).

I wanna know you more. So much more. There's so much emptiness between us. Yea, I don't feel much when we text and all. When we were together, I've been trying to fill that emptiness with physical intimacy cos we didn't have much time together all these while... And you're not easy to talk to too. ALL OVER AGAIN OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG. And really, if you want to know how I feel God's letting me grow through you, I think that you would provide opportunities for me practice my self-control, my patience, the Finnish understanding (dunnid to talk much but will know what is happening)... And it really feels like a repeat, but here's the million dollar question: Is it supposed to be that way? Or am I making it seem that way because of my past mistake? I'm sorry, I feel very sorry for you. As much as I can feel sorry for anyone in my current state of mind/heart.

Plans for 2013

Alright people! 2012 ain't over yet, but here is the plan for 2013! I just really feel like putting next year into perspective 'cos next year is gonna be sooooooooo crazily filled with opportunities and time!

Commitments	Wanna-dos	Wanna learns
Tennis	The Green Plan!!!! (SDYC??)	Piano!
SSEF	Spend more time with Church Friends	Singing! (everyone can sing, I just wanna learn to sing better)
Research (if we choose to continue)	Spend quality time with school friends too!	Spanish
Physics Interest Group (Since it is my last year, might as well do something good about it)		Jap/Chinese???
House??? ( not sure man…)
Choir
Family!!!!

Anything missing?

La Danza de Fuego

Cuanto más he de esperar Cuánto más he de buscar Para poder encontrar La luz que sé que hay en mí He vivido en soledad Rodeado de multitud Nunca he conseguido amar Pues no me quiero ni yo Cuando veas una estrella fugaz Guárdala en tu corazón Es el alma de alguien que consiguió Dar a los suyos su amor Cuando oigas a un niño preguntar Por qué el sol viene y se va Dile: porque en esta vida no hay Luz sin oscuridad Si eres capaz de devolver Con una sonrisa una traición Si eres capaz de dar tu mano a quien Con la suya te señaló No eches raíces en un sitio, muévete Pues no eres un árbol, para eso tienes dos pies El hombre más sabio es el que sabe que su hogar Es tan grande como pueda imaginar Cuando veas una estrella fugaz Guárdala en tu corazón Es el alma de alguien que consiguió Dar a los suyos su amor Cuando oigas a un niño preguntar Por qué el sol viene y se va Dile: porque en esta vida no hay Luz sin oscuridad El mejor día es en el que el alma Tiene hambre y sed No olvides lo aprendido No dejes de comprender Rodéate de buenos Y tú lo parecerás Rodéate de sabios Y algo en ti se quedará El mejor día es en el que el alma Tiene hambre y sed No olvides lo aprendido No dejes de comprender Rodéate de buenos Y tú lo parecerás Cuando veas una estrella fugaz Guárdala en tu corazón Es el alma de alguien que consiguió Dar a los suyos su amor Cuando oigas a un niño preguntar Por qué el sol viene y se va Dile: porque en esta vida no hay Luz sin oscuridad Cuando veas una estrella fugaz Guárdala en tu corazón Es el alma de alguien que consiguió Dar a los suyos su amor Cuando oigas a un niño preguntar Por qué el sol viene y se va Dile: porque en esta vida no hay Luz sin oscuridad Yay! no, no hay bien sin mal, luz sin oscuridad.

The more I wait The more I look In order to find The light in me I lived in solitude Surrounded by crowd I can never love Well I do not even want me When you see a shooting star Keep it in your heart It is the soul of someone who got Give your love theirs When you hear a child ask Why the sun comes and goes Say, because in this life there Light without darkness If you are able to return With a smile a betrayal If you can give your hand to whom With it you said Do not throw roots in a place, move Well, you're not a tree, for that you have two feet The wisest man is he who knows home It's as big as you can imagine When you see a shooting star Keep it in your heart It is the soul of someone who got Give your love theirs When you hear a child ask Why the sun comes and goes Say, because in this life there Light without darkness The best day is when the soul Hunger and thirst Do not forget what they learned Be sure to understand Surround yourself with good And you look like Surround yourself with wise And some of you will stay The best day is when the soul Hunger and thirst Do not forget what they learned Be sure to understand Surround yourself with good And you look like When you see a shooting star Keep it in your heart It is the soul of someone who got Give your love theirs When you hear a child ask Why the sun comes and goes Say, because in this life there Light without darkness When you see a shooting star Keep it in your heart It is the soul of someone who got Give your love theirs When you hear a child ask Why the sun comes and goes Say, because in this life there Light without darkness Yay! no, no good without evil, light without darkness.

Emotionally immature

I guess I still got a long way to go... Did some pretty silly things, which just ended up confusing me... Are they related? Are they not? Would an opposite reaction have been affected by it? Pretty emotionally unaware still mehhhh.

I guess I made myself look like a fool. The entire of last night. But ohh well, time to move on. I should talk to him, if I get the chance.

Superman (lyrics edit)

Female:
I can't stand when you fly (Yes, I know right, it's kinda lame: this is actually the change which inspired this whole thing)
I'm not that naive
I'm just out to find
The better part of me 

(The last 2 stanzas could be sung by Male or Both, I guess. It makes sense that way too... Just seems a bit weird cutting the female voice off just as it was introduced after 2 lines, I guess) (since when was I so affected by the musicality of songs? :O )

Male:
I'm more than a bird
I'm more than a plane
I'm more than some pretty face beside a train (Female? Both?)

Together:
It's not easy to be me 

Male (Or Both!) :
I wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
'bout a home I'll never see 

Female:
It may sound absurd, but don't be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed, but won't you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream


Together:
It's not easy to be me 

Female:
Up, up and away, away from me


Male:
Well, it's all right: you can all sleep sound tonight
I'm not crazy, or anything

Male:
I can't stand to fly


Together:
I'm not that naive
Men weren't meant to ride
With clouds between their knees 

Together:
I'm (You're) only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me (inside of me...)

Together:
It's not easy to be me.

I dunno. LOL never had Superman struck me this way before... But I guess... The lyrics are already so apt. Just a change in perspective, add in a new dimension to it, and now it's like a beautiful conversation of sorts... Sigh... it's so nice...

Bundaburg (I didn't know what to title this at first)

Well...

Something interesting happened of sorts in my head. Just woke up in the dead early morning of the day like I used to do very often... Got to the pantry and found that someone stole my drink (Bundaburg Ginger Beer). Man, I was so pissed.

I wanted to get a sticky note and paste it on the remaining bottles warning others to F*** off my drinks... but   as I headed back... Something struck me... Not too sure how to describe it, but it was a more or less "are you sure what you are doing is right?" kinda feeling. Than, I stopped to think... It's obviously not right, it was a very selfish action I was about to do... And it got me thinking, was it the fact that the drink was taken, or the fact that it was taken without my permission?

Well, now, a sticky note is on the remaining bottles, writing "tell me if you take a bottle"...

And, on a separate note... I got a surprising email and a text... and... I feel a bit... over-thanked for... But the man-ego in me is obviously happy xD

Flamenco

Wow. Beautiful.

“Make it a habit to ask yourself: What’s going on inside me at this moment? That question will point you in the right direction. But don’t analyze, just watch. Focus your attention within. Feel the energy of the emotion. If there is no emotion present, take your attention more deeply into the inner energy field of your body. It is the doorway into Being.”

- Eckhart Tolle -

From http://livingmiracle.tumblr.com/ ~~

Friend

A friend is:

a) one who knows us, but loves us anyway
b) one who knows us not, but loves us anyway too.

It's beautiful.

Take A Plunge

You can't feel the depth of a lake

without diving down 

headfirst 

into 

it.

Then the pain.

And the possibility of Death.

Sure, many would not understand.

More would only mock at you.

But,

upon rising

back to the surface,

none can appreciate all you've seen

the Depth, the Beauty-unseen & the Beauty-seen-yet-unseen

I blew it up

Every change which I have prided in myself over the past 2 months... 

So hard to keep in touch with them when I am with you... 

I seem to shrink back to how I used to be, with just a phantom memory of how I am at the present.

The Past 2 Months

Heh, a part of me wished I could tell you how horrible it has been.

But no. In actuality, I really have to say, life has been better since we went our ways, that I'm better off alone, at least, better off than we were.

Sure, many times it really felt horrible, losing you. Oh no, I didn't lose you, I threw you away. Yes I did. And I am sorry.

We've grown, though, from me throwing you away. Our eyes opened, and now, I feel unsure, and it seems, that you do as well, in this new light in which we see the world around us, I feel alone. Sometimes lonely, but forever alone. It's not the angst-y type of Alone that I used to hang so tightly to, not the me-against-the-world kind of Alone. More of an "I am Alone", the world goes on around me and it is up to me to choose where I go. People and other beings, they are all natural. And neutral. Natural and neutral. Neutral and natural. I may not know what drives them, but I sure can guess, I may not be able to control them, but I can control myself. 

Enough of me, back to you. How will we be as friends? Tried talking to you so we could decide today... But well, Time permits us not to. Or maybe not. So let us try now.

No. No. No. I am still growing to understand my emotions. Hell, what was I feeling earlier today? Bad, oppression, His Gaze, His Words, I Shiver and irrational emotions overwhelm me once more.

A Scorpion Moment

There was this Hindu who saw a scorpion floundering around in the water.

He decided to save it by stretching out his finger, 

but the scorpion stung him.

The man still tried to get the scorpion out of the water,

but the scorpion stung him again.

A man nearby told him to stop,

to stop saving the scorpion that kept on stinging him.

But the Hindu said: 

"It is the nature of the scorpion to sting. 

It is my nature to love.

Why, then, 

should I give up my nature to love 

just because it is the nature of the scorpion to sting?

Adapted from InspirationalStories.com

How true indeed, why should we lose our good nature just due to the bad of others?

A true story by Kent Nerburn: The Last Cab Ride

Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. One time I arrived in the middle of the night for a pick up at a building that was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window.

Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, then drive away. But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself. So I walked to the door and knocked.

“Just a minute,” answered a frail, elderly voice.

I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80′s stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase.

The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

“Would you carry my bag out to the car?” she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness.

“It’s nothing,” I told her. “I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated.”

“Oh, you’re such a good boy,” she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, then asked, “Could you drive through downtown?”

“It’s not the shortest way,” I answered quickly.

“Oh, I don’t mind,” she said. “I’m in no hurry. I’m on my way to a hospice.”

I looked in the rear view mirror. Her eyes were glistening.

“I don’t have any family left,” she continued. “The doctor says I don’t have very long.”

I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. “What route would you like me to take?” I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she’d ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, “I’m tired. Let’s go now.”

We drove in silence to the address she had given me.

It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

“How much do I owe you?” she asked, reaching into her purse.

“Nothing,” I said.

“You have to make a living,” she answered.

“There are other passengers.”

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

“You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,” she said. “Thank you.”

I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I didn’t pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly, lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away? On a quick review, I don’t think that I have done anything more important in my life. We’re conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware—beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

I love this story. It reminds me that everyone has their own story behind them, it reminds me not to judge others, to treat others with compassion and care... For many a times, our society hardens hearts into ice, and all it takes is a little love to melt them down just that little bit.

A Letter from Paulo Coelho

I remember receiving a letter from the American publisher, HarperCollins, which said that "reading The Alchemist was like getting up at dawn and seeing the sun rise while the rest of the world still slept." I went outside, looked up at the sky and thought to myself, "So, the book is going to be translated!" At the time, I was struggling to establish myself as a writer and to follow my path, despite all the voices telling me it was impossible.

And little by little, my dream was becoming reality. Ten, a hundred, a thousand, a million copies were sold in America. One day, a Brazilian journalist phoned to say that President Clinton had been photographed reading the book. Some time later, when I was in Turkey, I opened the magazine Vanity Fair and there was Julia Roberts, declaring that she adored the book. Walking alone down a street in Miami, I heard a girl telling her mother, "You must read The Alchemist!"

The book has been translated into 61 languages, has sold more than 30 million copies worldwide, and people are beginning to ask: "What's the secret behind such a huge success?" The only honest response is that I don't know. All I know is that, like Santiago the shepherd boy, we all need to be aware of our personal calling.

What is a personal calling? It is God's blessing, it is the path that God chose for you here on Earth. Whenever we do something that fills us with enthusiasm, we are following our legend. However, we don't all have the courage to confront our dreams.Why?

There are four obstacles. First, we are told from childhood onwards that everything we want to do is impossible. We grow up with this idea, and as the years accumulate, so too do the later of prejudice, fear and guilt. There comes a time when our personal calling is so deeply buried in our soul as to be invisible. But it's still there.

If we have the courage to disinter our dream, we are then faced by the second obstacle: love. We know what we want to do, but are afraid of hurting those around us by abandoning everything in order to pursue our dream. We do not realize that love is just a further impetus, not something that will prevent us going forwards, and that those who genuinely wish us well want us to be happy and are prepared to accompany us on that journey.

Once we have accepted that love is a stimulus, we come up against the third obstacle: fear of the defeats we will meet on the path. We who fight for our dream suffer far more when it doesn't work out, because we cannot fall back on the old excuse, "Oh, well, I didn't really want it anyway." We do want it and know that we have staked everything on it and that the path of the personal calling is no easier than any other path, except that our whole heart is in this journey. Then we warriors of light must be prepared to have patience in difficult times and to know that the Universe is conspiring in our favor, even though we may not understand how.

I ask myself: are defeats necessary? Well, necessary or not, they happen. When we first begin fighting for our dream, we have no experience and make many mistakes. The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.

So, why is it so important to live our personal calling if we are only going to suffer more than other people? Because once we have overcome the defeats - and we always do- we are filled with a greater sense of euphoria and confidence. In the silence of our hearts, we know that we are proving ourselves worthy of the miracle of life. Each day, each hour, is part of the good fight. We start to live with enthusiasm and pleasure. Intense, unexpected suffering passes more quickly than suffering that is apparently bearable; the latter goes on for years and, without our noticing, eats away at our soul, until, one day, we are no longer able to free ourselves from the bitterness and it stays with us for the rest of our lives.

Having disinterred our dream, having used the power of love to nurture it and spent many years living with the scars, we suddenly notice that what we always wanted is there, waiting for us, perhaps the very next day. Then comes the fourth obstacle: the fear of realizing the dream for which we have been fighting all our lives.

Oscar Wilde said, "Each man kills the thing he loves." And it's true. The mere possibility of getting what we want fills the soul of the ordinary person with guilt. We look around at all those who have failed to get what they want and feel that we do not deserve to get what we want either. We forget about all the obstacles we overcame, all the suffering we endured, all the things we had to give up in order to get this far. I have known a lot of people who, when their personal calling was within their grasp, went on to commit a series of stupid mistakes and never reached their goal when it was only a step away.

This is the most dangerous of the obstacles because it has a kind of saintly aura about it: renouncing joy and conquest. But if you believe yourself worthy of the thing you fought so hard to get, then you become an instrument of God, you help the Soul of the World, and you understand why you are here.

Translated by Margaret Jull Costa

Ego

I really couldn't believe the sight I saw

A room of solitude and companionship, of peace and music

Destroyed in an instance

"Everyone, be slaves to your Ego!"

And slaves they did become,

Shouts, plucks, crashes and rings

Conversation, strums, beats and hammer

And no one cared for the mess they made

no one cared that no one cared

Not even one.
No one.

None.

So Indulge Me,

for I am

Ego

Roma Sogna

E roma sogna sotto la luna

Che costa poco la felicità

Una moneta nella fontana

Ed il sogno diventa realtà

Una moneta nella fontana

Ed il sogno diventa realtà

-Roma Sogna-

*Sigh*

One Final Effort

Last push. Hobey-ho! Let's go!

(I love this song, though I never played Halo like properly before xD)

Hands

Sometimes, I wish my hands were small.

For what a world of difference that would be–

I’d possess a delicacy and precision I will never have;

I could paint the stripes inside a flower,

The claws on a mouse;

The fragility of a spider’s gossamer web

My own hand could stitch.

I’d notice the finest details of the most minuscule things.

And see beauty where the eyes of others cannot.

I’d touch the tears at the ends of eyelashes, withheld, disallowed–

And draw them away,

And show that they are beautiful.

And catch the light ends of flyaway dreams

And tie them back to the minds they came from.

I’d tug the fraying seams of drifting, broken hearts,

And weave them back to wholeness.

I’d heal the world from the inside out,

Little, by little, by little.

Sometimes, I wish my hands were very, very small.

-Sorcha-

陶喆：太美丽

每一滴眼泪 每一次心碎

什么爱能无疚无悔

不灰心等待 痛苦也忍耐

你坚持爱了就不后退

我知道我不是一个轻易就会说爱的人

没有想到这样的你 却改变了我

太美丽 太美丽

你的爱是多么的甜密

太美丽 爱让我也美丽

现在我不再怀疑

我不怀疑有多爱你

每一个脚印 每一朵乌云

说着我的飘忽不定 

伤你伤好深 别人早就要放弃

为何你还是会给我宽容

我知道我不是一个轻易就会说爱的人

可是你坚强的付出 却改变我

太美丽 太美丽

你的爱是多么的甜密

太美丽 爱让我也美丽

现在你不必再去怀疑

当你在风雨的未知里走过

当我在迷失的自我的漩涡

交会在黑暗中 你我发出了新的光芒

现在我已全明白

什么是爱的真意

太美丽 太美丽

你的爱让生命太甜密

太美丽 只有为你感激

越过表面我看见你

美丽的心

最美丽

你太美丽

你最美丽

Company

Company should not be a pastime,

Neither should it be a form of denial

Company ought to be a sharing of love

A sharing of stories, of love, of sincerity

Iridescent

You were standing in the wake of devastation

You were waiting on the edge of the unknown 

With the cataclysm raining down, insides crying save me now

You were there and possibly alone~~~

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation

You build up hope, but failure's all you've known

Remember all the sadness and frustration 

And let it go, let it go...

And in a burst of light that blinded every angel

As if the sky had blown the heavens into stars

You felt the gravity of tempered grace falling into empty space

No one there to catch you in their arms~~~

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation

You build up hope, but failure's all you've known

Remember all the sadness and frustration 

And let it go, let it go~~~

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation

You build up hope, but failure's all you've known

Remember all the sadness and frustration 

And let it go, let it go

Let it go

Let it go

Let it go

Let it go

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation

You build up hope, but failure's all you've known

Remember all the sadness and frustration 

And let it go, let it go~~~

Invisible?

HAHAHA okay I'm so bored but yea xD See if you can find it~~~

All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten

IN THE SOLOMON ISLANDS IN THE SOUTH PACIFIC some villagers practice a unique form of logging. If a tree is too large to be felled with an ax, the natives cut it down by yelling at it. (Can't lay my hands on the article, but I swear I read it). Woodsmen with special powers creep up on a tree just at dawn and suddenly scream at the top of their lungs. They continue this for thirty days. The tree dies and falls over. The theory is that the hollering kills the spirit of the tree. According to the villagers, it always works.

Ah, those poor naive innocents. Such quaintly charming habits of the jungle. Screaming at trees, indeed. How primitive. Too bad they don't have the advantages of modern technology and the scientific mind.

Me? I yell at my wife. And yell at the telephone and the lawn mower. And yell at the TV and the newspaper and my children. I've ever been known to shake my fist and yell at the sky at times. 

Man next door yells at his car a lot. And this summer I heard him yell at a stepladder for most of an afternoon. We modern, urban, educated folks yell at traffic and umpires and bills and banks and machines - especially machines. Machines and relatives get most of the yelling.

Don't know what good it does. Machines and things just sit there. Even kicking doesn't always help. As for people, well, the Solomon Islanders may have a point. Yelling at living things does tend to kill the spirit in them. Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will break our hearts.

-Robert Fulghum-

HELL YEA

"For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can't readily accept the God formula, the big answers don't remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command nor faith a dictum. I am my own god. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us." 

I believe in God though, though not the Church xD

if you think there is nothing else to fix, that means 2 things. You're either dead or perfect. are you either?

Maybe talking things out may help with the pain aspect? I'm not too sure, though.

hook, jab, dash

i don't really  know what to do anymore now.

why can't we just talk

Bolster, verb

"I am very careful whenever I know you’re on the phone with your father. I know you’ll come to me eventually, and we’ll talk you through it. But I have to wait — you need your time. In the meantime, I’m careful what songs I play. I try to speak to you with my selections."

-The Lover's Dictionary"