Friday, January 27, 2012
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Friday, December 2, 2011
switzerland
Alright, ohhwell, I'm in switzerland now. 2nd day I'm here, and the first proper full day xP ohhwell, okay, the flight was pretty good, I won't say much about it. Or maybe I will. First time I remember being on such a long haul flight (singapore to zurich) the real first time would be when I was a little kid, going to the US... Heh, I fell sick then, according to my mum. Anyway, lang haul flights are just super wts. Its like almost an entire day up in the air, but cos of the direction of flight, we arrived in zurich at like 8am? And then geneva at like noon. And it is seriously wth? 11 hours gone and I feel like I travelled for at least a day! Meh, but ohwell, the first day was good. Lunch was awesome! Heehee, the creamy pizza hashbrown thingy, and the chicken with potatoes! And the mediterrenean rice thingy hahaha...
Then night time, just had a lot of fun and just played stupid games with ian and jihyun till... 10 lol! Haha, yes, we slept really early. Anyway, damn funny, I escorted jihyun back to her room afterwards cos apparently it was not safe for a girl to move by herself at night haha, so liddat lo, its totally fine ba, but seriously, when I came back walking to my room, it was quite scary xP somehow it reminds me of some ghost movie cos like the hostel has many turns and stuff xP heh.
Anyway, then thaat was yesterday. Now, we are in some mall after highing for damn long, we decided to settle down for dinner. Thank so much that the waitress here speaks english, omg, I almost typed 'chinese' lol! So anyway, I shall recount tday backwards. I am damn tired, and I belive the others are tired too... Hmm, we were buying souvenirs in the supermarket. Ohhwait, not me, they were xP bought a lot of posh looking chocolates xP hahaha, anyway, afterwards we went around looking for food and styff... Meh, super tired now, I shall hold this post first and continue later
Okay! Side track people, the toilet is in a bar! So cool, like you just walk into the bar for the toilet!
Okay, now is after debrief, and I literally forget everything already except for the debrief la. Dr hang ain't such a boring afterall, he thinks quite a bit. Though the extent of which I am not too sure... Here's the question though, is it only some people who think, or only some people who say what they think? XP hahahah.
how much I miss you...
Then night time, just had a lot of fun and just played stupid games with ian and jihyun till... 10 lol! Haha, yes, we slept really early. Anyway, damn funny, I escorted jihyun back to her room afterwards cos apparently it was not safe for a girl to move by herself at night haha, so liddat lo, its totally fine ba, but seriously, when I came back walking to my room, it was quite scary xP somehow it reminds me of some ghost movie cos like the hostel has many turns and stuff xP heh.
Anyway, then thaat was yesterday. Now, we are in some mall after highing for damn long, we decided to settle down for dinner. Thank so much that the waitress here speaks english, omg, I almost typed 'chinese' lol! So anyway, I shall recount tday backwards. I am damn tired, and I belive the others are tired too... Hmm, we were buying souvenirs in the supermarket. Ohhwait, not me, they were xP bought a lot of posh looking chocolates xP hahaha, anyway, afterwards we went around looking for food and styff... Meh, super tired now, I shall hold this post first and continue later
Okay! Side track people, the toilet is in a bar! So cool, like you just walk into the bar for the toilet!
Okay, now is after debrief, and I literally forget everything already except for the debrief la. Dr hang ain't such a boring afterall, he thinks quite a bit. Though the extent of which I am not too sure... Here's the question though, is it only some people who think, or only some people who say what they think? XP hahahah.
how much I miss you...
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Dirt and Water
Which one is more important? The dirt which remains after the mixture dries up? after the water evaporates? The dirt which demarcates and shows the extent of the puddle?
Or the water? The water which made the puddle in the first place. The water which coagulated with the dirt to yield them visible to our eyes? Water which might again wash away the dirt?
Which is more important? An article of change, or its legacy?
Or the water? The water which made the puddle in the first place. The water which coagulated with the dirt to yield them visible to our eyes? Water which might again wash away the dirt?
Which is more important? An article of change, or its legacy?
The puddle of water
I see dirt, dust and water. Where there actually was first, dust, water AND blueberry tea.
But so what? even the ants would not know.
But so what? even the ants would not know.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Wise ain't always good
The first to apologize is the humble one
The first to forgive is the wise one
The first to forget is the happy one
The first to forgive is the wise one
The first to forget is the happy one
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
would u jus listen or try to give me ways such tt i could be happier????
well, for starters, your really vague advice which normally end with "its up to you how you wanna live your life" really help like. woah.
why do u lie to urself??
Maybe cos not doing so will tear me apart
u lied to me...
Only as much as I lie to myself
well, for starters, your really vague advice which normally end with "its up to you how you wanna live your life" really help like. woah.
why do u lie to urself??
Maybe cos not doing so will tear me apart
u lied to me...
Only as much as I lie to myself
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
You
You, how much I love you, yet how much too I do not know how to express this love. You misunderstand me, and I have gone tired. The best I can do is to stay quiet and suffer in silence.
You, you who I know is always there for me, I do not know how you think sometimes. Sometimes, it just makes me feel like you have been fooling with me all these while. And that i am nothing but cheap slime to you.
You, you who I used to adore and care for so much, I do not know where we stand anymore. Sometime when I see you, I can sense that there is still something there. This feeling I have, is it true, or merely my own imagination?
You, my most dearest friend, you misunderstand me, and I do not know you anymore. How much I desire for a long day with you, just to talk about anything we want to talk about. I just wanna hear you talk. No jokes. No passing comments. No masks.
You, my little one, how much I think about you. You make life bearable for me. You make me smile through your little actions and gestures. You keep me looking forward. You keep me going. Nevertheless, sometimes you just tear me apart with the little things that you do. I guess its my fault. That I am too reliant on you, I have lost myself to you.
You 2. My little sisters, how it hurts to see us grow apart: it is like I no longer know you anymore. Yet this care I had for you, I still cannot let it go. It hurts, so much, to thinking about you.
You, my younger brother. What happened? It fills me with regret on how you have turned out. I still see a shadow of who you were. You have changed, true. But your mask now. It's bad, I do not like it. But, who am I to judge?
You, my punching bag. Yes, I will not hide the fact. I have treated you badly, I really have. When all doors were close, you stayed open and took my blows. I am sorry. Now, I have turned cold and only done you more wrong. Will I just turn out to be like the other 2? Or will this candle die out even before it reaches that stage?
You, my elder. I miss you. I miss sharing with you. I miss having your company, I miss learning from you. I feel like a little brother learning from his older bro. Sure, I doubt we are close. But being with you, it just lets me relax unlike anything else. How much I wanna be with you again... It's just so sad that you will be leaving...
I might lose some of you. I don't want to. But if I do, at least, I will remember.
You, you who I know is always there for me, I do not know how you think sometimes. Sometimes, it just makes me feel like you have been fooling with me all these while. And that i am nothing but cheap slime to you.
You, you who I used to adore and care for so much, I do not know where we stand anymore. Sometime when I see you, I can sense that there is still something there. This feeling I have, is it true, or merely my own imagination?
You, my most dearest friend, you misunderstand me, and I do not know you anymore. How much I desire for a long day with you, just to talk about anything we want to talk about. I just wanna hear you talk. No jokes. No passing comments. No masks.
You, my little one, how much I think about you. You make life bearable for me. You make me smile through your little actions and gestures. You keep me looking forward. You keep me going. Nevertheless, sometimes you just tear me apart with the little things that you do. I guess its my fault. That I am too reliant on you, I have lost myself to you.
You 2. My little sisters, how it hurts to see us grow apart: it is like I no longer know you anymore. Yet this care I had for you, I still cannot let it go. It hurts, so much, to thinking about you.
You, my younger brother. What happened? It fills me with regret on how you have turned out. I still see a shadow of who you were. You have changed, true. But your mask now. It's bad, I do not like it. But, who am I to judge?
You, my punching bag. Yes, I will not hide the fact. I have treated you badly, I really have. When all doors were close, you stayed open and took my blows. I am sorry. Now, I have turned cold and only done you more wrong. Will I just turn out to be like the other 2? Or will this candle die out even before it reaches that stage?
You, my elder. I miss you. I miss sharing with you. I miss having your company, I miss learning from you. I feel like a little brother learning from his older bro. Sure, I doubt we are close. But being with you, it just lets me relax unlike anything else. How much I wanna be with you again... It's just so sad that you will be leaving...
I might lose some of you. I don't want to. But if I do, at least, I will remember.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
There was a young boy who was running about in his home. And he fell... He did not cry, but he was shock. He expected his mum, who was nearby, to help him up. His mum walked over to him, but just stood there next to him. I doubt he understood, but after sometime, he stood up by himself. He looked up and expected to see his mum to be proud. But no. His mum shoved him and he fell again. He was hurt. Not his bum(that hurt of course), he was hurt more than that. He did not understand. He stood again, his mum shoved him again, and he fell again. Again and again, this happened. He did not understand his mum's actions, he did not understand his feelings. An nknown emotion rose within him, was it anger? was it betrayal? was it sadness? He stood once more, his mum shoved him. He held his ground. His mum walked away.
Some lessons need to be taught the hard way. That was my first.
Some lessons need to be taught the hard way. That was my first.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
LOL random yes, SIDE EFFECTS
I kinda like this song, quite random but ohhwell~ First embedded song on my blog LOL xP
Monday, October 3, 2011
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
This is so nice
You were on your way home when you died.
It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.
And that’s when you met me.
“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”
“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.
“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”
“Yup,” I said.
“I… I died?”
“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.
You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”
“More or less,” I said.
“Are you god?” You asked.
“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”
“My kids… my wife,” you said.
“What about them?”
“Will they be all right?”
“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”
You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”
“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”
“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”
“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”
“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”
You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”
“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”
“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”
“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”
I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.
“You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”
“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”
“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”
“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”
“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”
“Where you come from?” You said.
“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”
“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.”
“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”
“So what’s the point of it all?”
“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”
“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.
I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”
“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”
“No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”
“Just me? What about everyone else?”
“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”
You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”
“All you. Different incarnations of you.”
“Wait. I’m everyone!?”
“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.
“I’m every human being who ever lived?”
“Or who will ever live, yes.”
“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”
“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.
“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.
“And you’re the millions he killed.”
“I’m Jesus?”
“And you’re everyone who followed him.”
You fell silent.
“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”
You thought for a long time.
“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”
“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”
“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”
“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”
“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”
“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”
And I sent you on your way.
It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.
And that’s when you met me.
“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”
“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.
“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”
“Yup,” I said.
“I… I died?”
“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.
You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”
“More or less,” I said.
“Are you god?” You asked.
“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”
“My kids… my wife,” you said.
“What about them?”
“Will they be all right?”
“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”
You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”
“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”
“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”
“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”
“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”
You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”
“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”
“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”
“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”
I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.
“You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”
“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”
“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”
“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”
“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”
“Where you come from?” You said.
“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”
“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.”
“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”
“So what’s the point of it all?”
“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”
“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.
I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”
“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”
“No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”
“Just me? What about everyone else?”
“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”
You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”
“All you. Different incarnations of you.”
“Wait. I’m everyone!?”
“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.
“I’m every human being who ever lived?”
“Or who will ever live, yes.”
“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”
“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.
“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.
“And you’re the millions he killed.”
“I’m Jesus?”
“And you’re everyone who followed him.”
You fell silent.
“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”
You thought for a long time.
“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”
“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”
“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”
“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”
“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”
“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”
And I sent you on your way.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Today meh
Okay, so today was fine. Talked to Miss Huang (ohh yea!) asked her if she was alright and stuff... well... i guess she is tired ba... (:
Then... CERN OSAP interview! so weird, Mr Tan and Mrs Oon ask me so much nonrelated questions.
e.g. How was ASXC? The new PIG members how?
LIKE LOL
okay, then after that got the YDSP Lecture series, woohoo!
"ahn-ge-niaar jer-neh-rale the larm-more~" lol thats how to pronounce his rank IGA.
Roughly translated to (General of armamant (weapons) engineering). So cool! he told me about their military research ranking system. its like they use the ranks in armed forces too! so like got captain/officer of (weapons) engineering. xP so cool right?
Ohh and he is quite amiable dude lol, very approachable~ lol he is also assistant secretary of general military investment of NATO like some big shot man! and he is like flying off tonight back to France to have a conference to convince the international team to invest and put research into making an integrated "live" "scanning" system... like the model he came up with its like using UV, infrared sensors etc to scan a landscape and develop a system to give live integrated view of wherever you wanna see anywhere, from foot soldiers all the way up to generals. so cool! haha
hmm... then was hunting for jeehyun lol, and joker la i forgot his name, the year 5 dude, spencer was it? he thought i wooing her 0.0 tsk, then after a long search i finally could contact her (yippie) lol. but turns out she got cluster outing so avalable like meh.
OHHOHHOHH! then spent time with zhangxian and joanna!!! whee~ (: miss them haha! we ended up watching MVs and singing along haha, lol. It really struck me how it appears that zhangxian and joanna swap souls lor! now the used to be quite zhangxian talk so much... and the last time hyper joanna so quiet lo... :/ meh... nvm la! (: tmr gonna play nb with them!
Ohh, and mum slapped me cos NSC did not win this year. LIKE WHAT DOES IT GOT TO DO WITH ME?
Ohh, and mum rubbed my tummy with medicated oil cos i feel damn bloated (: yay! me wanna be a little boy again...
On to bio mindmaps people! bye~
Then... CERN OSAP interview! so weird, Mr Tan and Mrs Oon ask me so much nonrelated questions.
e.g. How was ASXC? The new PIG members how?
LIKE LOL
okay, then after that got the YDSP Lecture series, woohoo!
"ahn-ge-niaar jer-neh-rale the larm-more~" lol thats how to pronounce his rank IGA.
Roughly translated to (General of armamant (weapons) engineering). So cool! he told me about their military research ranking system. its like they use the ranks in armed forces too! so like got captain/officer of (weapons) engineering. xP so cool right?
Ohh and he is quite amiable dude lol, very approachable~ lol he is also assistant secretary of general military investment of NATO like some big shot man! and he is like flying off tonight back to France to have a conference to convince the international team to invest and put research into making an integrated "live" "scanning" system... like the model he came up with its like using UV, infrared sensors etc to scan a landscape and develop a system to give live integrated view of wherever you wanna see anywhere, from foot soldiers all the way up to generals. so cool! haha
hmm... then was hunting for jeehyun lol, and joker la i forgot his name, the year 5 dude, spencer was it? he thought i wooing her 0.0 tsk, then after a long search i finally could contact her (yippie) lol. but turns out she got cluster outing so avalable like meh.
OHHOHHOHH! then spent time with zhangxian and joanna!!! whee~ (: miss them haha! we ended up watching MVs and singing along haha, lol. It really struck me how it appears that zhangxian and joanna swap souls lor! now the used to be quite zhangxian talk so much... and the last time hyper joanna so quiet lo... :/ meh... nvm la! (: tmr gonna play nb with them!
Ohh, and mum slapped me cos NSC did not win this year. LIKE WHAT DOES IT GOT TO DO WITH ME?
Ohh, and mum rubbed my tummy with medicated oil cos i feel damn bloated (: yay! me wanna be a little boy again...
On to bio mindmaps people! bye~
Monday, September 26, 2011
So things cropped up
Yea, things cropped up.
1. History AQ do on wednesday night (bobian liao)
2. Chinese debate thingy do on wednesday afternoon between ric's lessons
BIO MUST DO TONIGHT!
ohh well... today was very tiring... emotionally, mentally, physically. meh, but overall... i enjoyed the day, the process of the day kinda was very shitty, but i feel that it still ended up better than it began! (: yay, even though i did not get to finish my work (work can go suck cock! xD) lol. haha
So what else? ohh, i screwed math test up, and i did not have to study for it at all lo. erm im actually feeling quite motivated to do bio, but wanna go take a nap first... yawn~ nap till 11? xD ask sis wake me up?
Meh, now got new limits. no computer usage between 12 midnight-6am. but ohh well, i guess such might instill some discipline in me! (: haha, lol...
I miss you, i miss all of you. Can't wait for the day in which i can spend time with each of you. more like the period of time when i can spend a day with each of you... just chilling out and having fun and htht maybe? xD
Giving up on materialistic goals and ideals...
what I wanted to say was that I lived my life without loving... but now... maybe its more like i still live without loving? but that i yearn for love? i dunnno... but maybe... it will get better (:
1. History AQ do on wednesday night (bobian liao)
2. Chinese debate thingy do on wednesday afternoon between ric's lessons
BIO MUST DO TONIGHT!
ohh well... today was very tiring... emotionally, mentally, physically. meh, but overall... i enjoyed the day, the process of the day kinda was very shitty, but i feel that it still ended up better than it began! (: yay, even though i did not get to finish my work (work can go suck cock! xD) lol. haha
So what else? ohh, i screwed math test up, and i did not have to study for it at all lo. erm im actually feeling quite motivated to do bio, but wanna go take a nap first... yawn~ nap till 11? xD ask sis wake me up?
Meh, now got new limits. no computer usage between 12 midnight-6am. but ohh well, i guess such might instill some discipline in me! (: haha, lol...
I miss you, i miss all of you. Can't wait for the day in which i can spend time with each of you. more like the period of time when i can spend a day with each of you... just chilling out and having fun and htht maybe? xD
Giving up on materialistic goals and ideals...
what I wanted to say was that I lived my life without loving... but now... maybe its more like i still live without loving? but that i yearn for love? i dunnno... but maybe... it will get better (:
The weekend
Woohoo, the weekend is over. the unproductive weekend is over, things are starting to get a bit more productive at the strike of 12. I only started revising for math properly since 12+ and now... i dunno, hopefully its enough revision. well... the weekend was epic slack. so slack i cant imagine it to be any slacker. somehow the only work i did was physics olympiad assignment questions 1-3 and question 2 done wrongly but whatever. THATS ALL. yea.
anyway... things to note for the next 2 days
Monday (Today):
Math Test (wheee~)
History AQ (CCA slot)
Chinese shit write-up thingy (2-3)
PIG meet the juniors session!!!! (3-4 OHYEA~!)
okay, first math test. revised already. no time to do practices so yea... last minute mugging during bio i presume? yes and then i made a little swap regarding history AQ and Chinese write-up thingy. cos i figured with the paper chinese write-up can be done in less than an hour an hence leave the longer 2 hour slot for history AQ
PIG SESSION!!!!! whee~ can't wait! well, the year 2s cant come. but not much for me, since i know ALL OF THE YEAR 2S le. xP so yea, gonna have fun i guess, with the year 3s, can get to know them AND OF COURSE CHEESENG AND YOS~~~ WHEEE~ (: and i can get to holler at CHEESE (yes you boy, dao my smses/calls) got nice phone still dont use!!! cannot sign up for designcentric ARP cos you never reply me!!! gar! but nvm (: i will enjoy scolding you tmr xP (if you somehow see this b4 then, fear it!) AHAHAHA
Monday Night!!
AND THE LONG PROCRASTINATED BIO MINDMAPS ARE TO BE DONE
yesyes, sorry miss huang but really. bio mindmaps. just. turn. me. off. BIG TIME. it is nothing against bio, nor you. nor mindmaps. its just graded bio mindmaps are retarded beyond compare. any graded mindmap/notes are cocked up. so yea. i will tell you (miss huang) that i will submit it all on tuesday. I dont know how you would feel or react, but yea. im sorry.
THEN SLEEP!!!
ohh... +chem prac (woopsy i forgot)
Tuesday...
wont be going PHYSICS OLYMPIAD (happy and sad) cos im gonna be emcee! OHHHHH AND NEEDA SHOUT AT MISS LI TOO!!! (Cheese, be glad, for now my attention has to be split up xD for later today) needa ask her about the script. it is so poorly written like come on! confirm she wrote it de lo. and it is meant for 1 person only. so yea. jihyun and I needa chiong edit it. which reminds me. that i needa record a few numbers cos i needa use them this/next week.
Did i mention that i can't use my phone this coming weekend? if no... I CANT USE MY PHONE THIS COMING WEEKEND! meh bleargh gar....
GOOD NIGHT AND SEE YOU ALL TOMORROW PEEPS AND GLHF FOR EVERYONE WHO HAS TEST COMING THIS WEEK BOOHOO~
(YEA! LONG POST HAH!)
anyway... things to note for the next 2 days
Monday (Today):
Math Test (wheee~)
History AQ (CCA slot)
Chinese shit write-up thingy (2-3)
PIG meet the juniors session!!!! (3-4 OHYEA~!)
okay, first math test. revised already. no time to do practices so yea... last minute mugging during bio i presume? yes and then i made a little swap regarding history AQ and Chinese write-up thingy. cos i figured with the paper chinese write-up can be done in less than an hour an hence leave the longer 2 hour slot for history AQ
PIG SESSION!!!!! whee~ can't wait! well, the year 2s cant come. but not much for me, since i know ALL OF THE YEAR 2S le. xP so yea, gonna have fun i guess, with the year 3s, can get to know them AND OF COURSE CHEESENG AND YOS~~~ WHEEE~ (: and i can get to holler at CHEESE (yes you boy, dao my smses/calls) got nice phone still dont use!!! cannot sign up for designcentric ARP cos you never reply me!!! gar! but nvm (: i will enjoy scolding you tmr xP (if you somehow see this b4 then, fear it!) AHAHAHA
Monday Night!!
AND THE LONG PROCRASTINATED BIO MINDMAPS ARE TO BE DONE
yesyes, sorry miss huang but really. bio mindmaps. just. turn. me. off. BIG TIME. it is nothing against bio, nor you. nor mindmaps. its just graded bio mindmaps are retarded beyond compare. any graded mindmap/notes are cocked up. so yea. i will tell you (miss huang) that i will submit it all on tuesday. I dont know how you would feel or react, but yea. im sorry.
THEN SLEEP!!!
ohh... +chem prac (woopsy i forgot)
Tuesday...
wont be going PHYSICS OLYMPIAD (happy and sad) cos im gonna be emcee! OHHHHH AND NEEDA SHOUT AT MISS LI TOO!!! (Cheese, be glad, for now my attention has to be split up xD for later today) needa ask her about the script. it is so poorly written like come on! confirm she wrote it de lo. and it is meant for 1 person only. so yea. jihyun and I needa chiong edit it. which reminds me. that i needa record a few numbers cos i needa use them this/next week.
Did i mention that i can't use my phone this coming weekend? if no... I CANT USE MY PHONE THIS COMING WEEKEND! meh bleargh gar....
GOOD NIGHT AND SEE YOU ALL TOMORROW PEEPS AND GLHF FOR EVERYONE WHO HAS TEST COMING THIS WEEK BOOHOO~
(YEA! LONG POST HAH!)
Friday, September 16, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
ASXC day
OKAY, damn depressing ASXC. We asked some science centre person to switch off our exhibit cos we left it on int he annexe and the person said she told her colleague and they switched it off le. Guess what! NO! they did not swtich it off... -.- our weakest laser overheated and by the time it was our turn to present, that laser barely shone and it looked stupid.
Then 1 judge was a cock. talk don't listen. like hello, people can know you are smart like being the awesome judge who is so awesome but i cant rmb his name: he was the smp dude and the guy at the first clinic. he is just super zai. so yea, this shit judge asked us a question but when i explain it to him, he thought i was bsing and did not even listen to me -.- lucky the nice dude told him to shuddup (in a nice way) our presentation was damn short. i dunno why. compared to the rest like 15 minutes ours was maximum 10 lo. but whatever. its over. I wanna get some prize!!!! like seriously all the hardwork xP wanna get some recognition for ASXC!!!
Okay then coming back to school. It poured,literally. got so damn wet. then in NUSHS, no rain at all. -.- we were all joking that maybe we should tell ppl we ran back to nushs from science centre. xP anyway, I came in like a boss, half way through mentoring, knock door walk in "sup guys! hi miss huang", then take a seat xP
well ace was kinda dumb anyway, conflict management, like... zzz....
then. CVL (: quite okay i have to say, im not complaining about him xP sitting next to punitha indeed makes me more mugger, never bring notes i still used foolscap paper to write stuff down and even attempted the questions xD
then afterwards went to try call mum tell her about the backup emcee thingy... but she never pick up... by the time i called her again, she already cooked rice le... so i went home. and then it was so awkward when i came home. i wanted to just kill myself like seriously the knife was just right infront of me. mum was like emoing and siansian, and i was like damn sad and feeling like shit. gosh... sent an apology email to caroline gordon then went to bathe. did my english letter (and finished it!) then im here now blogging...
okay i really suck right? i just left you there all by yourself? and you were saying that im not that bad? I miss you. I miss you so much.
Then 1 judge was a cock. talk don't listen. like hello, people can know you are smart like being the awesome judge who is so awesome but i cant rmb his name: he was the smp dude and the guy at the first clinic. he is just super zai. so yea, this shit judge asked us a question but when i explain it to him, he thought i was bsing and did not even listen to me -.- lucky the nice dude told him to shuddup (in a nice way) our presentation was damn short. i dunno why. compared to the rest like 15 minutes ours was maximum 10 lo. but whatever. its over. I wanna get some prize!!!! like seriously all the hardwork xP wanna get some recognition for ASXC!!!
Okay then coming back to school. It poured,literally. got so damn wet. then in NUSHS, no rain at all. -.- we were all joking that maybe we should tell ppl we ran back to nushs from science centre. xP anyway, I came in like a boss, half way through mentoring, knock door walk in "sup guys! hi miss huang", then take a seat xP
well ace was kinda dumb anyway, conflict management, like... zzz....
then. CVL (: quite okay i have to say, im not complaining about him xP sitting next to punitha indeed makes me more mugger, never bring notes i still used foolscap paper to write stuff down and even attempted the questions xD
then afterwards went to try call mum tell her about the backup emcee thingy... but she never pick up... by the time i called her again, she already cooked rice le... so i went home. and then it was so awkward when i came home. i wanted to just kill myself like seriously the knife was just right infront of me. mum was like emoing and siansian, and i was like damn sad and feeling like shit. gosh... sent an apology email to caroline gordon then went to bathe. did my english letter (and finished it!) then im here now blogging...
okay i really suck right? i just left you there all by yourself? and you were saying that im not that bad? I miss you. I miss you so much.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
Today
Dunno what to post. Today was tiring. Had some intense tennis (not to mention chionging SMP poster just b4 CCA xD) well there... then i still chose to go down to train afterwards... LOL, so sad cannot watch the running events which was held doing CCA times and the only classmate i watched was Rachel who was frigging imba! she was like from 4th place push all the way to 1st place, and that's not enough! she even pulled like almost 10 metres ahead of the 2nd runner! WOAH, all in 400m xD so pro lo! i'm so proud of her HAHA
Then yea, was motivated to train hard cos saw faraday losing a lot of the runs really badly... >< Was doing tiong suan's drills but afterwards got bored and ran 200m (failed, stop at around 180m BUT BIG IMPROVEMENT KAY?) I dunno la but always running the time will like be super dead after the curve and i feel myself slowing down and stuff... I don't even know if I am running in a considerable okay form... Then ran against Muru, HyeonKyeong in 100m, lost to both of them. According to leon who was watching, apparently i was too straight liao so get tired damn fast... (point to note) Like around 1.5m behind the other 2... hai so fail... I must seriously do some solid training to be ready for next year lo...
Ohh i forgot to mention that before i got bored and stuff... Haha, some year 2s were training too... Got joanna there xD spent some time feedbacking her runs and running with her... She seems to be pumping her legs damn fast but then... Short... so like... her sprint around my relaxed striding pace(and I still can talk and comment somemore) then luther down there can't get the normal starting position and then he like... zzz, like usual la! just talk cock no action one, he is gonna be so screwed for Monday's events man... ><
Then on the way home, met isaac at the busstop and started talking rubbish, then guess what? yawen, methien(if spelled correctly) and kelvin appeared! LOL they were gonna take 151 too to sunset way for dinner HAHA. So like we waited at the busstop for like super long then 1 151 came. BUT FULL. and so we decided to walk down. then nothing else much interesting happened. but ohh, i overheard a group of ACJC guys gossiping about politics between the current contestors for next year's ACJC school Captain of the CCA they are in. It would seem that they are like the Year 2s... but then... not too sure too.
LOL wrote so much.
:/ was hoping to see you
Then yea, was motivated to train hard cos saw faraday losing a lot of the runs really badly... >< Was doing tiong suan's drills but afterwards got bored and ran 200m (failed, stop at around 180m BUT BIG IMPROVEMENT KAY?) I dunno la but always running the time will like be super dead after the curve and i feel myself slowing down and stuff... I don't even know if I am running in a considerable okay form... Then ran against Muru, HyeonKyeong in 100m, lost to both of them. According to leon who was watching, apparently i was too straight liao so get tired damn fast... (point to note) Like around 1.5m behind the other 2... hai so fail... I must seriously do some solid training to be ready for next year lo...
Ohh i forgot to mention that before i got bored and stuff... Haha, some year 2s were training too... Got joanna there xD spent some time feedbacking her runs and running with her... She seems to be pumping her legs damn fast but then... Short... so like... her sprint around my relaxed striding pace(and I still can talk and comment somemore) then luther down there can't get the normal starting position and then he like... zzz, like usual la! just talk cock no action one, he is gonna be so screwed for Monday's events man... ><
Then on the way home, met isaac at the busstop and started talking rubbish, then guess what? yawen, methien(if spelled correctly) and kelvin appeared! LOL they were gonna take 151 too to sunset way for dinner HAHA. So like we waited at the busstop for like super long then 1 151 came. BUT FULL. and so we decided to walk down. then nothing else much interesting happened. but ohh, i overheard a group of ACJC guys gossiping about politics between the current contestors for next year's ACJC school Captain of the CCA they are in. It would seem that they are like the Year 2s... but then... not too sure too.
LOL wrote so much.
:/ was hoping to see you
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Super Computer Theory
*Disclaimer: This is gonna be long. So I wont write everything down in one shot, and no one is obliged to read this if you don't want to.
Assumptions:
1. Everything can be represented in fixed values which would obey all of current scientific laws
2. The current model of science is correct (kinda a prerequisite for Law 1)
3. Heisenberg Uncertainty can go and die for now
4. Quantum entanglement can go and die too (anyway, we don't really get this anyway)
Rambling:
Imagine a hypothetical Computer which can record the properties of every particle in a system, AND can then run a simulation of the activities of these particles at real time or a higher speed. Now imagine this system to encompass everything existing (Defined as (in this case) Universe).
Let us say that it can compute at higher than speed of light, it kinda simulates into the future (okay, 1 law of physics broken already damn). Or at least let us assume that it can compute at the same speed as everything else is going (c). Hence, we literally have 2 worlds, 1 which we exist in, and 1 which we can observe from a 3rd person's perspective.
*Side note: this works in a way to tell people to shuttup about higher than light speed information transfer (how?), well, if such a computer can be made to work at any speed faster than the speed of light, viewing the "computer screen of the-little-bit-of-the-future" from the computer screen would be equal to viewing a-little-bit-more-of-the-future" and so on forever if you choose to see the computer screen again and so on. This clearly is some pretty screwed up shit.
Back to main argument: We have 2 worlds running side by side. Exactly identical (yet independent) in all possible ways for now and forever.
Implications of this:
1. Fate exist (If a computer can predict what will happen to you in the future, or to be precise, what you do in the future, (even though it cannot predict it now, but it will predict it then when whatever happens).
2. There is no such thing as free will. (You think you have a choice, but in actuality, what you do after some thought is what you will do anyway. The thought process itself must too be simulated in our nice little computer)
More implications next time... Needa do work now
Assumptions:
1. Everything can be represented in fixed values which would obey all of current scientific laws
2. The current model of science is correct (kinda a prerequisite for Law 1)
3. Heisenberg Uncertainty can go and die for now
4. Quantum entanglement can go and die too (anyway, we don't really get this anyway)
Rambling:
Imagine a hypothetical Computer which can record the properties of every particle in a system, AND can then run a simulation of the activities of these particles at real time or a higher speed. Now imagine this system to encompass everything existing (Defined as (in this case) Universe).
Let us say that it can compute at higher than speed of light, it kinda simulates into the future (okay, 1 law of physics broken already damn). Or at least let us assume that it can compute at the same speed as everything else is going (c). Hence, we literally have 2 worlds, 1 which we exist in, and 1 which we can observe from a 3rd person's perspective.
*Side note: this works in a way to tell people to shuttup about higher than light speed information transfer (how?), well, if such a computer can be made to work at any speed faster than the speed of light, viewing the "computer screen of the-little-bit-of-the-future" from the computer screen would be equal to viewing a-little-bit-more-of-the-future" and so on forever if you choose to see the computer screen again and so on. This clearly is some pretty screwed up shit.
Back to main argument: We have 2 worlds running side by side. Exactly identical (yet independent) in all possible ways for now and forever.
Implications of this:
1. Fate exist (If a computer can predict what will happen to you in the future, or to be precise, what you do in the future, (even though it cannot predict it now, but it will predict it then when whatever happens).
2. There is no such thing as free will. (You think you have a choice, but in actuality, what you do after some thought is what you will do anyway. The thought process itself must too be simulated in our nice little computer)
More implications next time... Needa do work now
Monday, August 15, 2011
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
I'm so tired
I'm tired of every lesson I have.
I'm tired of having to think so much about so many things
I'm tired of missing you late into the nights
I'm tired of wishing how everything could go back to when they were happier
I'm tired of being a shadow of my old self
I'm tired of being
I'm tired of having to think so much about so many things
I'm tired of missing you late into the nights
I'm tired of wishing how everything could go back to when they were happier
I'm tired of being a shadow of my old self
I'm tired of being
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Iridescent
oh hi, long since i last posted... well... i did not find this song any nice until just recently... somehow the lyrics just clicked to me and i feel so much comforted by it...
When you were standing in the wake of devastation
when you were waiting on the edge of the unknown
with the cataclysm raining down, insides crying save me now
you were there and possibly alone.
Do you feel cold and lost in desperation
you build up hope, but failure's all you've known
remember all the sadness and frustration
and let it go, let it go.
And in the burst of light that blinded every angel
as if the sky had blown the heavens into stars
you felt the gravity of tempered grace falling into empty space
no one there to catch you in their arms
Do you feel cold and lost in desperation
you build up hope, but failure's all you've known
remember all the sadness and frustration
and let it go, let it go.
Do you feel cold and lost in desperation
you build up hope, but failure's all you've known
remember all the sadness and frustration
and let it go,
let it go
let it go
let it go
let it go
Do you feel cold and lost in desperation
you build up hope, but failure's all you've known
remember all the sadness and frustration
and let it go, let it go.
When you were standing in the wake of devastation
when you were waiting on the edge of the unknown
with the cataclysm raining down, insides crying save me now
you were there and possibly alone.
Do you feel cold and lost in desperation
you build up hope, but failure's all you've known
remember all the sadness and frustration
and let it go, let it go.
And in the burst of light that blinded every angel
as if the sky had blown the heavens into stars
you felt the gravity of tempered grace falling into empty space
no one there to catch you in their arms
Do you feel cold and lost in desperation
you build up hope, but failure's all you've known
remember all the sadness and frustration
and let it go, let it go.
Do you feel cold and lost in desperation
you build up hope, but failure's all you've known
remember all the sadness and frustration
and let it go,
let it go
let it go
let it go
let it go
Do you feel cold and lost in desperation
you build up hope, but failure's all you've known
remember all the sadness and frustration
and let it go, let it go.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
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