PS...?

April 19, 2013…

Life is not about “I was”, do not relish in past glories, nor regret in past failures.

Life is not about “I will”, do not float in dreams of the future, nor tremble in worries of tomorrow.

Life is about “I am”, live an authentic life, in all its beauty and all its weakness.

I would describe myself as a being of the now.

Just yesterday, I was badly thrashed in the interschool tournament. In 6 months time, I will hand down captainship to the next leader. Now, I am Captain of the Tennis Team of NUS High School.

There is that minimum that a student leader needs to accomplish. Yet, there is that much more possibilities and potential one can realize. And I am burn to realize my dreams for the team.

Despite being fortunate to have played in the nation-wide tennis tournament for 4 years, all the match experience was still insufficient to perform in the national tennis scene. We lack commitment, we lack training, but most importantly, we lack the “know of winning”. Despite being better skilled than many of our opponents, we lost through mental and emotional weakness.

I will not allow my juniors to fall the same way we did, I will initiate a culture of commitment. I will have to train the juniors, and above all, I will have to push them to strengthen mentally and emotionally.

I spend time now nurturing the leaders I need to assist me. I plan now to meet the targets which I have set. I, too, surge forward now to grow sufficiently for the trials ahead.

I am a collective of my past experiences, my dreams and hopes of the future, and my actions now. Only time will tell if I succeed.

so unmotivated

"What the heart speaks, the mind rarely comprehends."

Aye. Aye.

Sex, relaxation and tension

Men and women whisper to each other because they have turned a sacred gesture into a sinful act.

This is the world in which we live. And while robbing the present moment of its reality can be dangerous, disobedience can also be a virtue, when we know how to use it.

If two bodies merely join together, that is not sex, it is merely pleasure.
Sex goes far beyond pleasure.

In sex, relaxation and tension go hand in hand, as do pain and pleasure, shyness and the courage to go beyond one’s limits.

How can such opposing states exist in harmony together? There is only one way: by surrendering yourself.
Because the act of surrender means: ‘I trust you.’

It isn’t enough to imagine everything that might happen if we allowed ourselves to join not just our bodies, but our souls as well.

Let us plunge together, then, down the dangerous path of surrender.
It may be dangerous, but it is the only path worth following.

Let us forget all that we are taught about how it is noble to give and humiliating to receive.
Because for most people, generosity consists only in giving, but receiving is also an act of love.

Allowing someone else to make us happy will make them happy too.
 
 
taken from MANUSCRIPT FOUND IN ACCRA

By Paulo Coelho

Tomorrow is your birthday

And part of me feels sorry for you

For you to have a boyfriend 

who hasn't prepared anything for you

who doesn't feel like celebrating it for you

who doesn't feel like making you feel happy tomorrow

who doesn't even know what the hell he is doing with you

If I said I still care about you, 

what would you do?

If I said I am getting very tired of all these mixed emotions that arise at the sound of your name,

what would you do?

If I said I would rather forget you completely, but can't,

What would you do?

在那里

If hearts could sing, 

what music would mine make?

Would it thump with fiery drums?
The chanting and singing of war?
A raw chaotic beat of hatred and angst?

Or would it be a resigned sighing?

The whispering of men with broken spirit,
A wearied murmur of Hope crushed and lost.

It may scream the wails of banshees
Horrifying yet beautiful, resilient yet despairing.
The futile cries for the dead long and gone.

It may be the howl of a lone wolf
The steely cold of the midnight breeze.
The confidence of a maverick calm and free.

But where can it find?

The peace and grace of a dancer?
The contentment of a clear bell ring?
The joy of a silent prayer answered.

The Cycle of Nature

In the cycle of nature there is no such thing as victory or defeat: there is only movement.

The winter struggles to reign supreme, but, in the end, is obliged to accept spring’s victory, which brings with it flowers and happiness.

The summer would like to make its warm days last for ever, because it believes that warmth is good for the earth, but, finally, it has to accept the arrival of autumn, which will allow the earth to rest.

The gazelle eats the grass and is devoured by the lion. It isn’t a matter of who is the strongest, but God’s way of showing us the cycle of death and resurrection.
And within that cycle there are neither winners nor losers, there are only stages that must be gone through. When the human heart understands this, it is free, able to accept difficult times and not be deceived by moments of glory.

Both will pass. One will succeed the other. And the cycle will continue until we liberate ourselves from the flesh and find the Divine Energy.

Therefore, when the fighter is in the ring – whether by his own choice or because unfathomable destiny has placed him there – may his spirit be filled with joy at the prospect of the fight ahead. If he holds on to his dignity and his honour, then, even if he loses the fight, he will never be defeated, because his soul will remain intact.

And he will blame no one for what is happening to him.
Ever since he fell in love for the first time and was rejected, he has known that this did not put paid to his ability to love.

What is true in love is also true in war.

-Paulo Coelho-

The Dance of Life

"Befriending death seems to be the basis of all other forms of befriending. I have a deep sense, hard to articulate, that if we could really befriend death we would be free people. So many of our doubts and hesitations, ambivalences, and insecurities are bound up with our deep-seated fear of death that our lives would be significantly different if we could relate to death as a familiar guest instead of a threatening stranger."

-Henri  Nouwen-  

OMG SO AWESOME

ARP report

It's about breaking conformity.

It's about being a unique zealot.

It's about a small-against-big fight.

It's about non-acceptance.

Blind non-acceptance.

Faith is where a man holds his ground.

I hold mine in between.

And you hold yours in the extremes.

Aww so saddddd

New album coming out!!!

OP Protoss Ball (SO CUTE AHAHAHA)

A Peruvian Priest

In my book “The Alchemist”, the young shepherd Santiago meets an old man in the town square. He is searching for a treasure, but does not know how to reach it. The old man starts up a conversation with him:
“How many sheep have you got?”
“Enough,” answers Santiago.
“Then we have a problem. I can’t help if you think you have enough sheep.”
Based on this extract, the Peruvian priest Clemente Sobrado wrote an interesting piece, which I transcribe below

One of the biggest problems that we drag around with us all our life is to want to believe we have “enough sheep”. We are surrounded by certainties, and nobody wants someone showing up to propose something new. If we could only suspect that we don’t have everything, and that we aren’t all that we could be!

Maybe we are all faced with a very serious problem, namely that although we have the opportunity to help one another, the truth is that few people let themselves be helped.

Why is that? Because they think they have “enough sheep”. They already know everything, they are always right, they feel comfortable in their lives.

Almost all of us are like that: we have many things but few aspirations. We have many ideas already sorted out, and we don’t want to give them up. Our life scheme is already organized and we don’t need someone trying to make changes.

We’ve done enough praying, practiced charity, read the lives of the saints, gone to Mass, taken communion. A friend of mine once said: “I don’t know why I come to visit you, father. I am already a good Christian.”

On that day I could not help answering:

“Then don’t come to visit me, because there are a lot of people waiting to see me and they are all full of doubts. But one thing you ought to know: You aren’t bad enough to be bad, nor good enough to be good, nor holy enough to work miracles.

“You are just a Christian satisfied with what you have achieved. And all those who are satisfied have in fact renounced the ideal of always improving. Let’s talk about this some other time, all right?”

Ever since then, whenever we speak on the telephone he starts by saying: “this person who is calling hasn’t yet grown up as much as he could”.

Lord, give us always a dissatisfied heart.

Give us a heart where the questions that we never want to ask can be voiced.

Deliver us from our conformism.

Make us able to enjoy what we have, but let us understand that this is not everything.

Let us appreciate that we are good people.

But above all, make us always ask ourselves how we can become better people.

Because if we ask, then it is quite possible that You will come and show us horizons that we couldn’t see before.

From Paulo

Our Yearly Dementia Test

1. What do you put in a toaster?
 
 
 
 

 
 

Answer: ‘bread.’ If you said ‘toast’ give up now and do something else..
Try not to hurt yourself.
If you said, bread, go to Question 2.

2. Say ‘silk’ five times. Now spell ‘silk.’ What do cows drink?
 
 
 
 
 

 
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said ‘milk,’ don’t attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading more appropriate literature such as Auto World.
However, if you said ‘water’, proceed to question 3.

4. Without using a calculator – You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus.
In Reading, 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on.
In Swindon, 2 people get off and 4 get on.
In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on.
In Swansea, 3 people get off and 5 people get on.
In Carmarthen, 6 people get off and 3 get on.
You then arrive at Milford Haven..

Without scrolling back to review, how old is the bus driver?

 
 
 

 
 
 

Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don’t you remember your own age?
It was YOU driving the bus!!

If you pass this along to your friends, pray they do better than you.
PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!

From Paulo Coelho's blog

Carol of The Bells

OMG SO CRAZY AWESOME THE GUY'S VOICE IS SO HIGH! AND THE BASS SO SEXYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

We are gonna try this for Christmas! *Gasp* spazzzzzzzzzzz

The Pencil

A boy was watching his grandmother write a letter. At one point he asked:

‘Are you writing a story about what we’ve done? Is it a story about me?’
His grandmother stopped writing her letter and said to her grandson:
I am writing about you, actually, but more important than the words is the pencil I’m using. I hope you will be like this pencil when you grow up.’

Intrigued, the boy looked at the pencil. It didn’t seem very special.
‘But it’s just like any other pencil I’ve ever seen!’

‘That depends on how you look at things. It has five qualities which, if you manage to hang on them, will make you a person who is always at peace with the world.’

‘First quality: you are capable of great things, but you must never forget that there is a hand guiding your steps. We call that hand God, and He always guides us according to His will.’
‘Second quality: now and then, I have to stop writing and use a sharpner. That makes the pencil suffer a little, but afterwards, he’s much sharper. So you, too, must learn to bear certain pains and sorrows, because they will make you a better person.
‘Third quality: the pencil always allows us to use an eraser to rub out any mistakes. This means that correcting something we did is not necessarily a bad thing; it helps to keep us on the road to justice.’
‘Fourth quality: what really matters in a pencil is not its wooden exterior, but the graphite inside. So always pay attention to what is happening inside you.’
‘Finally, the pencil’s fifth quality: it always leaves a mark. in just the same way, you should know that everything you do in life will leave a mark, so try to be conscious of that in your every action’

-Paulo Coelho-

I don't understand why you insist that we both continue to haunt each other.

Beautiful

Why are you so beautiful? You make me so unsure; you reduce me to a little child. Those words of yours add a whole new dimension to you which never ceases to amaze me...

Deep down, I know I fear that I'm not worthy of you.

I really wanted to say that? Did I? that last bit there? at that point I felt that I really had to let it out of me, that I really had to let you know. But normally, the feeling is not there... WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY am i so screwed up.

Comments on the previous post

LOL it's pretty damn interesting how the most important part of that post came out only so little at the end. So similar to how conversations normally develop. I need to learn to cut the crap too. And make others cut the crap as well. xD (or just cut it for them HAHA)

Driving lesson #2

Oorah? I guess its supposed to be all exciting (my first 2 driving lessons) but no... I just feel like sleeping... and driving is really no big deal. It's pretty damn stressful actually, especially since my dad forced me to drive a manual transmission and I keep killing the engine (gosh i suck) I managed to kill the engine while executing a climbing curve: I just died right in the middle of the road. EPIC FAIL. Ignoring all my failures and all, I do agree with dad that driving in Indonesia is pretty damn hardcore. Motorcycles racing around you left right center. No lanes on the road. Humps and potholes all over. Hawkers walking around the road with wares and all. Man, can't believe you're allowed to drive in Indo with a Singapore license yet not the other way round XD Indonesia should be like the standard of driving for an international license! Like I have driven through the streets of hell so suck all! But I guess it doesn't work that way. I guess places like Brazil and Mexico would be worst/comparable eh?

Got a rundown of the family financial situation... Not too sad as I previously thought, but pretty damn sad too... Really must thank Susuk for tanking so much for my dad ohhwell... HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII...

Am supposed to be doing work for ARP offsite and all but as I knew would happen, nothing ever get's done when I'm so farrrr awayyyy... At least I keep tabs on the results of our daily lab results! THANK YOU LIKE CRAZY CLAIRE CHEONG! Have no clue how DCARP is... Been trying to learn up a bit online about Maxwell Equations but I can't freaking understand the integral forms... what bloody line integral of E field across an area?!!! I need ricardo damn.

Candlelight Carol parts singing is not too bad... I'm familiar with it but I need more practice before the first Christmas Choir Prac... My first official job as Bass Section Leader (can't screw it up)... It's really pathetic that I'm Bass SL, Jo can't read scores, and all the other basses are... jokers... Not that it's bad but... HAI... I'm like not the man for the job, but I'm the best choice left meehhhhh....

It's pretty funny how the incentive now for me to post on my blog is you and not you... Lol HAHA how is that supposed to sound? My lower right back still hurts... Dad thinks that swimming would help it but who knows. I got to eat my pudding! got 10 freaking puddings to eat 'cos I just decided to order one of each flavour to try! I think I should head down now after this post to eat... Then maybe i'll head over for a swim... WHY DO MY COUSINS HAVE SO MANY INSTRUMENTS! 2 guitars which are barely played, a super nice keyboard which is also barely played and I DUNNO WHAT ELSE THEY HAVE! William just pulled out a melodica randomly! I wanna play Siempre on it! It sounds so goooddddd although it's some kiddies version it still sounds so sexxxyyyyyyyy OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG.

How do I feel?

Very emotionless, very neutral and all. I guess I'm not working much with my emotions. You need to force me. Or maybe I can get Nic to force me... But Nic is all busy with his social life and all now... bleargh... can't wait to be back in Singapore, productivity in terms of everything is bound to increase... I feel so horrible, no self-discipline to push myself to work when I'm in such a comfortable position... Mehhhhhhh... It feels so different now, and I guess I'm afraid that's something wrong, I don't feel what I think I should be feeling about you (double meaning woah!) and I don't know why as well for both... Internet in Kintamani is not too bad... But somehow it seems that it hates Blogger. Or specifically the editting of Blogger (which includes writing a post) I stared at this screen for like 5 minutes before I could start typing OMG. That's why I'm trying to get as much down as possible on this today...

Ama needs an angioplasty but she doesn't want to do... And I really dunno. If she doesnt do it, it's dangerous and all... But if she does it, it's dangerous too, and she won't be able to go US with my cousins... maybe that is better for her? (to think about it... going to US with the blocked artery is damn dangerous...) Dad wants me to try to convince her to go for the surgery ASAP but it's like... Hai, how do I even talk to her about this kind of stuff? Language and culture epic barrier... How do I feel about this? Frankly speaking I don't care. Yea, that hurts doesn't it? I don't really care about when she does the Angio. Or at least that what I feel! Not much feeling in regards to this, or they are all bottled up. I need to pray and spend so much time for myself... Something I've been preaching but not doing much, eh? Haha... Please, help me with this when you're back, it's something I don't want to admit, but my lack of self-discipline is so urggghhh... Let's grow together, shall we? xD

What's a bit worrying is life in the future... Assuming I go for NTU Renaissance Engineering Program, that would mean I would leave Uni at 25... And I want kids before 28 (Damn), I dunno, it's like a very big benchmark for me, it sounds so trivial but to me, it is really important! I want to be relatively young when my kids are my age and all... I hope to be able to relate to them and have a solid relationship with them and all... Don't want to be brought down by illnesses and body breaking down effect so early in my children's life... Wanna play sports nicely with my kids HAHA (Dad can't play tennis much with me le, cos of his back SIAN) So I guess that's how my life will go... I really got to be able to succeed in life by 28 to get married and all in Singapore... Or maybe I have to work in Indo instead... It's really tempting and all... Working for my dad, (now that it seems there's quite a few things to do around here) but still... It's not what I want to do, but it is the nearest and most obvious mean to the goal of having kids by 28 and being able to decently support them... And I wouldn't at all be using anything I learn at REP. At least not much... AND I NEED A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE (DAMN).

I wanna know you more. So much more. There's so much emptiness between us. Yea, I don't feel much when we text and all. When we were together, I've been trying to fill that emptiness with physical intimacy cos we didn't have much time together all these while... And you're not easy to talk to too. ALL OVER AGAIN OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG. And really, if you want to know how I feel God's letting me grow through you, I think that you would provide opportunities for me practice my self-control, my patience, the Finnish understanding (dunnid to talk much but will know what is happening)... And it really feels like a repeat, but here's the million dollar question: Is it supposed to be that way? Or am I making it seem that way because of my past mistake? I'm sorry, I feel very sorry for you. As much as I can feel sorry for anyone in my current state of mind/heart.

Plans for 2013

Alright people! 2012 ain't over yet, but here is the plan for 2013! I just really feel like putting next year into perspective 'cos next year is gonna be sooooooooo crazily filled with opportunities and time!

Commitments	Wanna-dos	Wanna learns
Tennis	The Green Plan!!!! (SDYC??)	Piano!
SSEF	Spend more time with Church Friends	Singing! (everyone can sing, I just wanna learn to sing better)
Research (if we choose to continue)	Spend quality time with school friends too!	Spanish
Physics Interest Group (Since it is my last year, might as well do something good about it)		Jap/Chinese???
House??? ( not sure man…)
Choir
Family!!!!

Anything missing?

La Danza de Fuego

Cuanto más he de esperar Cuánto más he de buscar Para poder encontrar La luz que sé que hay en mí He vivido en soledad Rodeado de multitud Nunca he conseguido amar Pues no me quiero ni yo Cuando veas una estrella fugaz Guárdala en tu corazón Es el alma de alguien que consiguió Dar a los suyos su amor Cuando oigas a un niño preguntar Por qué el sol viene y se va Dile: porque en esta vida no hay Luz sin oscuridad Si eres capaz de devolver Con una sonrisa una traición Si eres capaz de dar tu mano a quien Con la suya te señaló No eches raíces en un sitio, muévete Pues no eres un árbol, para eso tienes dos pies El hombre más sabio es el que sabe que su hogar Es tan grande como pueda imaginar Cuando veas una estrella fugaz Guárdala en tu corazón Es el alma de alguien que consiguió Dar a los suyos su amor Cuando oigas a un niño preguntar Por qué el sol viene y se va Dile: porque en esta vida no hay Luz sin oscuridad El mejor día es en el que el alma Tiene hambre y sed No olvides lo aprendido No dejes de comprender Rodéate de buenos Y tú lo parecerás Rodéate de sabios Y algo en ti se quedará El mejor día es en el que el alma Tiene hambre y sed No olvides lo aprendido No dejes de comprender Rodéate de buenos Y tú lo parecerás Cuando veas una estrella fugaz Guárdala en tu corazón Es el alma de alguien que consiguió Dar a los suyos su amor Cuando oigas a un niño preguntar Por qué el sol viene y se va Dile: porque en esta vida no hay Luz sin oscuridad Cuando veas una estrella fugaz Guárdala en tu corazón Es el alma de alguien que consiguió Dar a los suyos su amor Cuando oigas a un niño preguntar Por qué el sol viene y se va Dile: porque en esta vida no hay Luz sin oscuridad Yay! no, no hay bien sin mal, luz sin oscuridad.

The more I wait The more I look In order to find The light in me I lived in solitude Surrounded by crowd I can never love Well I do not even want me When you see a shooting star Keep it in your heart It is the soul of someone who got Give your love theirs When you hear a child ask Why the sun comes and goes Say, because in this life there Light without darkness If you are able to return With a smile a betrayal If you can give your hand to whom With it you said Do not throw roots in a place, move Well, you're not a tree, for that you have two feet The wisest man is he who knows home It's as big as you can imagine When you see a shooting star Keep it in your heart It is the soul of someone who got Give your love theirs When you hear a child ask Why the sun comes and goes Say, because in this life there Light without darkness The best day is when the soul Hunger and thirst Do not forget what they learned Be sure to understand Surround yourself with good And you look like Surround yourself with wise And some of you will stay The best day is when the soul Hunger and thirst Do not forget what they learned Be sure to understand Surround yourself with good And you look like When you see a shooting star Keep it in your heart It is the soul of someone who got Give your love theirs When you hear a child ask Why the sun comes and goes Say, because in this life there Light without darkness When you see a shooting star Keep it in your heart It is the soul of someone who got Give your love theirs When you hear a child ask Why the sun comes and goes Say, because in this life there Light without darkness Yay! no, no good without evil, light without darkness.

Emotionally immature

I guess I still got a long way to go... Did some pretty silly things, which just ended up confusing me... Are they related? Are they not? Would an opposite reaction have been affected by it? Pretty emotionally unaware still mehhhh.

I guess I made myself look like a fool. The entire of last night. But ohh well, time to move on. I should talk to him, if I get the chance.

Superman (lyrics edit)

Female:
I can't stand when you fly (Yes, I know right, it's kinda lame: this is actually the change which inspired this whole thing)
I'm not that naive
I'm just out to find
The better part of me 

(The last 2 stanzas could be sung by Male or Both, I guess. It makes sense that way too... Just seems a bit weird cutting the female voice off just as it was introduced after 2 lines, I guess) (since when was I so affected by the musicality of songs? :O )

Male:
I'm more than a bird
I'm more than a plane
I'm more than some pretty face beside a train (Female? Both?)

Together:
It's not easy to be me 

Male (Or Both!) :
I wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
'bout a home I'll never see 

Female:
It may sound absurd, but don't be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed, but won't you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream


Together:
It's not easy to be me 

Female:
Up, up and away, away from me


Male:
Well, it's all right: you can all sleep sound tonight
I'm not crazy, or anything

Male:
I can't stand to fly


Together:
I'm not that naive
Men weren't meant to ride
With clouds between their knees 

Together:
I'm (You're) only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me (inside of me...)

Together:
It's not easy to be me.

I dunno. LOL never had Superman struck me this way before... But I guess... The lyrics are already so apt. Just a change in perspective, add in a new dimension to it, and now it's like a beautiful conversation of sorts... Sigh... it's so nice...

Bundaburg (I didn't know what to title this at first)

Well...

Something interesting happened of sorts in my head. Just woke up in the dead early morning of the day like I used to do very often... Got to the pantry and found that someone stole my drink (Bundaburg Ginger Beer). Man, I was so pissed.

I wanted to get a sticky note and paste it on the remaining bottles warning others to F*** off my drinks... but   as I headed back... Something struck me... Not too sure how to describe it, but it was a more or less "are you sure what you are doing is right?" kinda feeling. Than, I stopped to think... It's obviously not right, it was a very selfish action I was about to do... And it got me thinking, was it the fact that the drink was taken, or the fact that it was taken without my permission?

Well, now, a sticky note is on the remaining bottles, writing "tell me if you take a bottle"...

And, on a separate note... I got a surprising email and a text... and... I feel a bit... over-thanked for... But the man-ego in me is obviously happy xD

Flamenco

Wow. Beautiful.

“Make it a habit to ask yourself: What’s going on inside me at this moment? That question will point you in the right direction. But don’t analyze, just watch. Focus your attention within. Feel the energy of the emotion. If there is no emotion present, take your attention more deeply into the inner energy field of your body. It is the doorway into Being.”

- Eckhart Tolle -

From http://livingmiracle.tumblr.com/ ~~

Friend

A friend is:

a) one who knows us, but loves us anyway
b) one who knows us not, but loves us anyway too.

It's beautiful.

Take A Plunge

You can't feel the depth of a lake

without diving down 

headfirst 

into 

it.

Then the pain.

And the possibility of Death.

Sure, many would not understand.

More would only mock at you.

But,

upon rising

back to the surface,

none can appreciate all you've seen

the Depth, the Beauty-unseen & the Beauty-seen-yet-unseen

I blew it up

Every change which I have prided in myself over the past 2 months... 

So hard to keep in touch with them when I am with you... 

I seem to shrink back to how I used to be, with just a phantom memory of how I am at the present.

The Past 2 Months

Heh, a part of me wished I could tell you how horrible it has been.

But no. In actuality, I really have to say, life has been better since we went our ways, that I'm better off alone, at least, better off than we were.

Sure, many times it really felt horrible, losing you. Oh no, I didn't lose you, I threw you away. Yes I did. And I am sorry.

We've grown, though, from me throwing you away. Our eyes opened, and now, I feel unsure, and it seems, that you do as well, in this new light in which we see the world around us, I feel alone. Sometimes lonely, but forever alone. It's not the angst-y type of Alone that I used to hang so tightly to, not the me-against-the-world kind of Alone. More of an "I am Alone", the world goes on around me and it is up to me to choose where I go. People and other beings, they are all natural. And neutral. Natural and neutral. Neutral and natural. I may not know what drives them, but I sure can guess, I may not be able to control them, but I can control myself. 

Enough of me, back to you. How will we be as friends? Tried talking to you so we could decide today... But well, Time permits us not to. Or maybe not. So let us try now.

No. No. No. I am still growing to understand my emotions. Hell, what was I feeling earlier today? Bad, oppression, His Gaze, His Words, I Shiver and irrational emotions overwhelm me once more.

A Scorpion Moment

There was this Hindu who saw a scorpion floundering around in the water.

He decided to save it by stretching out his finger, 

but the scorpion stung him.

The man still tried to get the scorpion out of the water,

but the scorpion stung him again.

A man nearby told him to stop,

to stop saving the scorpion that kept on stinging him.

But the Hindu said: 

"It is the nature of the scorpion to sting. 

It is my nature to love.

Why, then, 

should I give up my nature to love 

just because it is the nature of the scorpion to sting?

Adapted from InspirationalStories.com

How true indeed, why should we lose our good nature just due to the bad of others?