Extra commitment

GOsh, i feel so fail.. how could i forget... Church... hai...

Someone

I really want someone whom i can cling on to no matter what. Someone who will push me onwards despite my God-given sloth. Someone who'll know when i fall and pick me up without me needing to ask for help. Someone who understands me without a word I say. Someone who will be there whenever i need a hug.

How could such a person exist?

Yr 5 Commitments

Well there, hello. My ideal commitments for next year are as follows....

1. PIG (Physics interest group)
I CANNOT DROP THIS. not only do i feel obliged to Mr Tan, I also jio Cheeseng & Yos into it, and there are also Year2s who i encouraged to join... So yea.... I was slacking a lot last year le, this year however, i have been more active and I really believe that PIG is moving forward despite the lost of many of our seniors(really awesome people) I just hope that the future will be able to take step when we leave... If not, its just super irritating....

2. NEA
Well, sinking ship, but i wont leave my neas till its totally down. I just really hope that next year, more opportunities can be given and we wont be as choked as this year... Indeed if we are more active next year... I would be more busy... but... I really hope to be able to assist into the transition of NEA into council... The reason why i wanna be a singaporean citizen is really sparked off by my taking of NEA role in Year 1... I really want it to do well...

3. Tennis exco
hai... my tennis boys are really a joy to be with and they really show so much potential... Hoping that these boys would bring us further much is too much, but i really hope and believe that these boys will be the first major stepping stone onwards to the progression of tennis CCA... and i really wanna be part of it to nurture this little jokers (HAHA, thinking about them makes me laugh SO CUTE!!!)

4. Academically
MUST TAKE ---> Math, Physics, Chem honours
Might wanna take... Bio honors...

I really wanna finish up Physics Olympiad under Bernard Ricardo... I feel like this is a really good oppurtunity to be able to build up a strong mind for critical thinking (though i REALLY HATE THE TRIGO) AND SPhO!!!! At least a silver come on!!!! must jiayous!

5. ARP
SSEF GOLD!!!! MATERIAL SCIENCE PLSPLSPLSPLSPLSPLSPLSPLS I really need a solid partner to help me out... gosh... I really dunno who? Cyrus? :/ His commitment level.. does it match mine?

6. Japanese
Study group for japanese... I wont be taking jap lessons anymore le... I just really hope to use the opportunity of being close to fellow friends to buff-en up my jap and preferably can take N3 by next year end... AND BE ABLE TO CONVERSE IN JAP BETTER!!!

7. You
My loved ones... I put you guys all the way at the back cos there's just so much to say here... I really don't know how else to say this... And how many of you will actually read this? I only know 3 people who told me they do... But I really treasure you guys... But there's just all these things up there cluttering me up... And you guys got your own lives as well... I really wanna be there for you guys whenever you need me... And really, im glad to be able to be your friends... (: I'm always here yea? (:

Leadership

It just struck me, both the Imam and the Pastor were leaders in their own rights, both were militia leaders against each other... and they became peace advocates together afterwards... Maybe there is much to learn from these leaders... hmm...

integrate, not assimilate

The Imam and the Pastor

Well... The Imam & the Pastor, well just a brief background of these 2 holy-ly awesome men.

http://www.iofc.org/imam-pastor

so yea. Well, these 2 dudes were there on the conference thingy i went today, and it was really great to have them there, but really bitter to have MCYS head to ks them so much. Come on la, face it, MCYS minister of state dont do much compared to these dudes, like COME ON! gosh, but never mind. AND I SAW AARON MANIAM, ADAM MANIAM'S (MPP mentor) bro! AND THEY ARE A REALLY MIXED UP FAMILY OF LIKE PAKISTANI, INDIAN, CHINESE, and God knows what else!!!

Both the Imam and the Pastor were damn good. Like seriously, they were confident, humourous (even though discussing serious stuff). Even with their weird accented english, their vocabulary was strong, and they really could speak their minds, maybe it's cause they do it over and over so many times before, but really! they linked it back to the audience (us) like, referring to the organisers and to us students. It was really wonderful experience listening to these guys!!! I really would love the opportunity to talk to either one or both of them privately!!! So coolll!

So epic man like the Pastor lost his hand fighting against the Imam and it was like. THEY FORGABVE EACH OTHER!!!! like omg, so awesome.... I totally like admire these 2 men. hai... kinda bittersweet that we did not manage to interact with them more...

Life

When Joy and Sorrow crashes together

Remembrance

Don't ever forgot how much you mean to me. Whenever you're sad, please bear in mind how much I cherish your smile, and even if im not there, or you dont want me to be... Do know that i care.

Man

Slaves of the very society they created. Who knew the almighty mitochondria would be at the service of eukaryotes? no one did. and in all ignorance they believed that they live and persevered on for themselves. true, but to what end. they only get to the furthest ends of the cell, any further, they will be destroyed. and now, the very environment of the cell causes mitochondria to grow in excess, and soon, cancer would come and death will consume all. in their ignorance, they believe that going further, hopping over to further cells would bring salvation, what salvation is that? such salvation only brings about increased egoism and shortsightedness, pride and ignorance. Chained to the unending pursuit of developments of its own destruction, and the destruction of all.

Cancer

Are we the cancer?

The leukocytes are meant to act as guardians, but if cancerous, they run amok and kill those they were to protect

shitshitshitshitshit

damn, im starting to emo about all those macro shit again... hai.... sian...

There's only 1 girl

There's only 1 girl i wanna hold in my arms
There's only 1 girl i wanna call my little girl
There's only 1 girl who makes me feel like nothing's impossible
There's only 1 girl who i would stare down her eyes for eternity

And that girl is you, my little girl

The game

Maybe it's called hurt-gabriel-as-much-as-possible?

Choice

What am I to do? :/

Bittersweet

Well... today has been bittersweet, solved problems, found new ones, happy times, emo times, all in a day...


I'm numb...

Combo earlier

Haha, a song combo i heard earlier which was pretty nice:

1. Dies Irae by Mago De Oz
2. Hush, Hush by Pussy Cat Dolls
3. Regresa mi by Il Divo
4. Green Fields of France by Dropkick Murphys
5. Bolero by DBSK

haha

Green Fields of France

And faded to yellow in a brown leather frame

well...

A nuisance, good-for-nothing and pathetic

反方向的钟

迷迷蒙蒙你给的梦
出现裂缝隐隐作痛
怎么沟通你都没空
说我不懂说了没用
他的笑容有何不同
在你心中我不再受宠
我的天空是雨是风还是彩虹
你在操纵

恨自己真的没用情绪激动
一颗心到现在还在抽痛
还为分手前那句抱歉在感动
穿梭时间的画面的钟
从反方向开始移动
回到当初爱你的时空
停格内容不忠
所有回忆对着我进攻
我的伤口被你拆封
誓言太沉重泪被纵容
脸上汹涌失控

城市霓虹不安跳动
染红夜空过去种种
像一场梦不敢去碰
一想就痛心碎内容
每一秒钟都有不同
你不懂连一句珍重
也有苦衷也不想送
寒风中废墟烟囱
停止转动一切落空
在人海中盲目跟从
别人的梦全面放纵
恨没有用疗伤止痛
不在感动没有梦
痛不知轻重
泪水鲜红全面放纵

Slow Fade

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see

Green Fields of France

Oh how do you do, young Willy McBride?
Do you mind if I sit here down beside your graveside?
And rest for a while 'neath the warm summer sun
I've been walking all day, and I'm nearly done
And I see by your gravestone you were only nineteen
When you joined the great fallen in 1916
Well I hope you died quick
And I hope you died clean
Oh Willy McBride, was is it slow and obscene?

Did they beat the drums slowly?
Did they play the fife lowly?
Did they sound the death march as they lowered you down?
Did the band play the Last Post in chorus?
Did the pipes play the Flowers of the Forest?

And did you leave a wife or a sweetheart behind
In some loyal heart is your memory enshrined?
And though you died back in 1916
To that loyal heart you're forever nineteen
Or are you a stranger without even a name？
Forever enshrined behind some old glass pane
In an old photograph torn, tattered, and stained
And faded to yellow in a brown leather frame

Did they beat the drums slowly?
Did they play the fife lowly?
Did they sound the death march as they lowered you down?
Did the band play the Last Post in chorus?
Did the pipes play the Flowers of the Forest?

The sun shining down on these green fields of France
The warm wind blows gently and the red poppies dance
The trenches have vanished long under the plow
No gas, no barbed wire, no guns firing now
But here in this graveyard that's still no man's land
The countless white crosses in mute witness stand
To man's blind indifference to his fellow man
And a whole generation were butchered and damned

Did they beat the drums slowly?
Did they play the fife lowly?
Did they sound the death march as they lowered you down?
Did the band play the Last Post in chorus?
Did the pipes play the Flowers of the Forest?

And I can't help but wonder oh Willy McBride
Do all those who lie here know why they died?
Did you really believe them when they told you the cause?
Did you really believe that this war would end wars?
Well the suffering, the sorrow, the glory, the shame
The killing and dying it was all done in vain
Oh Willy McBride it all happened again
And again, and again, and again, and again

Did they beat the drums slowly?
Did they play the fife lowly?
Did they sound the death march as they lowered you down?
Did the band play the Last Post in chorus?
Did the pipes play the Flowers of the Forest?

Rocky Road to Dublin

In the merry month of May, From my home I started,
Left the girls of Tuam, Nearly broken hearted,
Saluted father dear, Kissed my darlin' mother,
Drank a pint of beer, My grief and tears to smother,
Then off to reap the corn, And leave where I was born,
I cut a stout blackthorn, To banish ghost and goblin,
In a brand new pair of brogues, I rattled o'er the bogs,
And frightened all the dogs,On the rocky road to Dublin.

One, two, three, four five,
Hunt the hare and turn her
Down the rocky road
And all the ways to Dublin,
Whack-fol-lol-de-ra.

In Mullingar that night, I rested limbs so weary,
Started by daylight, Next mornin' light and airy,
Took a drop of the pure, To keep my heart from sinkin',
That's an Irishman's cure, Whene'er he's on for drinking.
To see the lasses smile, Laughing all the while,
At my curious style, 'Twould set your heart a-bubblin'.
They ax'd if I was hired, The wages I required,
Till I was almost tired, Of the rocky road to Dublin.

In Dublin next arrived, I thought it such a pity,
To be so soon deprived, A view of that fine city.
Then I took a stroll, All among the quality,
My bundle it was stole, In a neat locality;
Something crossed my mind, Then I looked behind;
No bundle could I find, Upon my stick a wobblin'.
Enquirin' for the rogue, They said my Connacht brogue,
Wasn't much in vogue, On the rocky road to Dublin.

From there I got away, My spirits never failin'
Landed on the quay As the ship was sailin';
Captain at me roared, Said that no room had he,
When I jumped aboard, A cabin found for Paddy,
Down among the pigs I played some funny rigs,
Danced some hearty jigs, The water round me bubblin',
When off Holyhead, I wished myself was dead,
Or better far instead, On the rocky road to Dublin.

The boys of Liverpool, When we safely landed,
Called myself a fool; I could no longer stand it;
Blood began to boil, Temper I was losin',
Poor ould Erin's isle They began abusin',
"Hurrah my soul," sez I, My shillelagh I let fly;
Some Galway boys were by, Saw I was a hobble in,
Then with a loud hurray, They joined in the affray.
We quickly cleared the way, For the rocky road to Dublin.

Season of My Weakness

I pause a moment for reflection
Ponder this peaceful benediction
While all that surrounds me
Is benign

It seems I’ve lost my inspiration
My last artistic motivation
The only thing, I have enough of,
Is time

I whisper to myself that everything is gonna be alright tomorrow
Though I have nothing left, if I can make it through the night
My soul will be at peace and Ill go on

Its bitter cold and I am hurting
It’s been a long road that’s for certain
Bereft of aid, Ill climb this mountain
Alone

Antagonistic winds cut through me relentless
I scream aloud “Dear God I am helpless!”
But there are none to hear my desperate cries
But the stones

Road Down

Ninety miles an hour, down this interstate
Driving on my last twenty dollars of gas
Got everything I own inside this Chevrolet
Going nowhere and that needle’s dropping fast

That woman broke my heart in St. Louis
Shot ‘em both and drove into the west after the sun
I’m chasing down my soul on my way to hell
Engine’s burning oil and I’ve got nowhere to run

As the daylight turns to dusk and that road keeps going further
Yeah my guilt comes washing over me
And with every breath I take you know those demons that I chase
Go ever free

And so I , buckle down and keep that engine whining
Running headlong to escape my destiny
There’s no going back my candles burning at both ends
On that old road down

Its midnight and I’m just outside of Santa Fe
Flat tire and my conscience finally got me off the road
I drop down to my knees and I start to pray
Don’t know if you’re up there but I’ve got a heavy load

At long last yeah, the devil has caught up with me
Whispers in my ear, with every mile you’re bound for hell
I’m asking you now Lord for deliverance
Take me from perdition, yeah with you to dwell

But the only sounds I hear are from the coyotes on the hillside
Yeah, their voices make a mournful harmony
Now I know that He is listening guess he don’t want to take a chance
On the likes of me

If I could somehow beckon to the grace of God
Prove that I am truly repentant
I tell myself there must be something I could try
I do not run in vain
My life is not worthless

hai.

刚才为什么要见到你?若没看到你，那我整天会容易了一些...

the previous post

it does not make sense if you google translate cos spanish got all those weird signs above the letters which i did not copy. so a lot of words dont get translated/dont make sense

Regresa A Mi

Okay, i have this random urge to type down the lyrics of this song. Not copy/paste. typed. LOL


No me abandones asi
Hablando solo de ti
Ven y devuelveme al fin
La sonrisa que se fue
Una vez mas tocar tu piel
Recuperemos lo que se ha perdido

Regresa a mi
Quere me otra vez
Borra el dolor
Que al irte me dio
Cuando te separate de mi
Dime que si
Yo no quiero llorar
Regresa a mi

Extrano el amor que se fue
Extrano la dicha tambien
Quiero que vengas a mi
Y me vuelvas a querer
No puedo mas sit u no estas
tienes que lgar
Mi vida se apaga sin ti a mi lado

No me abandonas asi
Hablando solo de ti
Devuelveme la passion de tus brazos

Tears no more

为了她，我哭到没眼泪为你哭了。



终于知道什么是哭到再也哭不了的感觉。

Sunday 15th May 11:34 (okay, this is late, dad came back and had to move over back to grandma's place)

So yea, i shall just finish up this post

The Sidik period of events (At least mine)

Mum's bday on 7th May
Dad's Bday on 14th May
Ama's Bday on 15th May
Gong's Anniversary on 17th May

hai... it's late at night, and I am at my uncle's place waiting for dad... he went for Andrea Bocelli's concert, if i got the spelling of that dude right that is... well... I think so ba... Unless i got the Bocelli wrong...

My cousins are asleep above me, my grandma and her sister are in a room which door is 6 metres away from me at 1.30 direction... Not at chempaka putih, (so have internet access) well, i doubt anyone would know where the shit i am anyway eh...

A quick description of this place... I am on this relatively huge table, 4 metres long, 1 metre+ wide... black. infront of me it this random frame with nothing but a random flower motif in it.... which is rather pretty, its transparent and black floral patterns. Behind that screen would be a plasma tv and some sofas and stuff... futher behind that is the balcony, from which a stairs would lead to swimming pool...

OK FINE, i dont wanna continue describing that place le, in singapore now and cant really recall the details so yea.

Indonesia

I'm off to Indonesia again. I'm supposed to be feeling like I'm going home, back to family and stuff... But well, I feel really unsure about everything... Can't wait to be back home, home in Singapore.

Back to december

Was listening to radio... and heard the song back into december...

Where are you?

Day 2 of Exams

Well, now that my head is clearer, let's take a look at this...

LOL, Keith Loke thought i take malay as mother tongue, he was damn shock to see me doing gonghan, and was practically staring at my paper for like 10 seconds++ watching me write chinese LOL

Paper 1 was kinda screwed... >< super shit, i have no clue what i would be getting for it lor....

Paper 2 was better, but still, super fail, i thought it was 2 hours long, so was like planning to do a 30-45-45 for MCQ-Compre1-Compre2 timing, so when it was 15 minutes left, i was about to start compre2, i was like, "shit, GG, 15 minutes for compre2" lucky it was not too hard, and i managed to finish it on time, still got time look at victor rushing his compre xD

haha, math was fucking fun! like seriously fucking fun! super tiring and damn tough (for me) but i totally loved it lor! damn long have not done mathematics test/exams which actually gave me a sense of satisfaction (: totally awesome!!!!

Haha, then last night was pretty fine till i had to interact with people. took my bath, prep the house, then watched tv, sis came home, did not talk much. then parents came home, ate dinner. After that, i switched on lappie to check on whether Simin and Samantha came online since 8pm. lol, so i checked back and forth during tv advertisements (and yes, this is the only time i had watched tv properly for a really long time xD)

then dad came and kope the laptop, he disconnected the laptop from power supply without switching the powersupply off, damn WTF la, last time he scold me for charging laptop wrongly, then now he did that. WTFWTFWTF

Then i dont care, signed out of msn then logged into desktop. then after that just switched it off at the next commercial break, screw smp la, was fucking tired.

Then my mum passed me my phone, fucking irritating, just as i was about to sleep, cock la, i had to switch laptop on cos i had no phone, and YES, tuition! mum was scolding me why never tell tuition teacher i was not coming the following day, and i was like "WTF, where is my phone?" in my heart like duh, then went to call his home number. ya, anyway, then i was lying on the bed, then convo with mum

Mum"you wanna sleep le?"
Me"no"
Mum"you want on aircon?"
I obviously dont mind right? so damn bloody hot, i was already lying on my bed in only my boxers
Me"i dont mind"

so yea, mum switched aircon on.

so there, was smsing samantha telling her what to do, and she had to talk so much shit halfway through i realised i should have smsed simin instead of her. the whole point i smsed her was bcos i thought she would be damn dao and just like, "ok." and shuddup, end up she ask so much bloody questions and suddenly her last sms was "bull." WTFFFFF

i left my phone on my room table and laid on my bed, then after that smsed her a few more times, making sure she knows what she was supposed to do. then still no fking reply.

then after that, dad came into my room, i told him i was sleeping, (indeed i was asleep until he came in) then dad go look at my phone, i had a new sms, so i snatched the phone back. It was from a friend. then mum came in, and dad told her i was asleep

So mum got damn fucking mad, she scolded me for not returning the phone, then i got caned. (like so damn fucking long never get cane le) then after that she took my phone away.

I went online again afterwards(and did the previous post) mum came out and scolded me again and ask me to go to sleep. WTF man, just got caned and scolded you expect people go to sleep? i ended up lying on my bed screaming silently and hitting my head until i slept... damn

damnit

It's not your fault. It's hers

WAHLAO MY IPOD

I am not gonna shuffle in "English pop" anytime soon le, like 5 songs in the row lady gaga, then 3 from the script, then 5 from mariah carey. WTF LOL, where got shuffle~~ Rock here i come!!!

fail...

还以为可以好好读书... 好想你... D:

(:

Random Hangman FTW!!! (:

Organelles correction do later, needa go buy dinner first

Mitochondria cristae xD

Organelles

It just struck me if some random person somehow entered my blog, they would think i am some hardcore nerd. anyway, ORGANELLE TIME!!!

Nucleus
Consist of Nuclear Membrane(2 layers) with pores (octets). Nucleolus.
DNA replicate here. All those stuff talk later in the later chapters la, anyway, ribosomes are made here, mix of RNA and proteins.

Ribosomes
60+40=80 Sveberg

With tRNA, translate mRNA into polypeptide

ER
Smooth synthesizes lipids carbohydrates and all the whatnot, in liver(especially) detoxify toxins.

Rough, produce proteins and stuff to send out of cell or to cell membrane(via golgi)

Golgi, post office and editor cis and trans sides, cis is incoming side, trans is going away, dynamic

Vacuoles, random balls in animals,
plants
1. trashbag
2. color holder
3. ensure turgidity
4. increase surface area: volume ratio
5. defensive chemicals holder
6. storage of good stuff?
7. i dunno liao shit

Lysosomes
Need activation from golgi. Consist of all the breaking down enzymes (lipase, proease, glucase, fructase, balalallala) generally lower pH for these enzymes to work.

Got primary lysosomes (fresh new nomnom) , secondary(nomnom already), autophagolysosomes (nomnom old organlles)

Mitochondria
Power houses. 3 layers? cisternae(like ERs) to increase surface area

Chloroplast
Power house. Consist of thylakoids. Photosynthesis. confirm 3 layers, but innermost layer extension.

Centrioles
Do nothing, plants dont have them

Corrections for lecture 1 and 2

Well...

Bright field, video, cofocal scanning.
TEM Negative staining, shadow casting, freeze fracture, freeze etching...

Stereoscopic/compound light microscopes.

EMBEDDING

Well, only 8, missing the fact that they are complex/organised (too in your face for me to remember which kinda sucks.)

It's called (disrupts solidification at lower temperatures.

Fluid Mosaic: Lateral movement of phospholipids in plane of membrane with patterns and arrangements of proteins as they move about in fluid.
[frankly speaking, i dont really see the significance of this...]

And its AMPHIPHATIC!!!!! 2 "H"s lol

And i totally forget about the -cytosis parts.

But well, endocytosis and exocytosis. Endo is out to in, got pino, phago, and receptor mediated) exo just got 1 kind. used for releasing things into ECM or adding protein and stuff to the membrane LOL.

That's all for 1-2!

Mugging for Bio

As you can see, i am not really mugging now lol. Should be mugging bio, and am trying to. Gonna be reading Lesson 8 next, aka, last lesson. When I am done with that, shall take a bath, and if time, churn out a few more notes. Shall finish up the notes after dinner, and after that, read through my own notes a few times, test myself, then do math. Then test myself again.

Well... Lets be random and try to churn out stuff I should know.

Lecture 1
Microscopy and Cell Theory

Microscopy:
Who invented the Microscope --> Robert Hooke 17th century
Types of Microscopes:
SEM: Not elaborated on
TEM: elaborated a lot
Fix, dehydrate, stain, (shit one more here, cant rmb name) sectioning, mounting.
Light Microscope
Types:
Phase Contrast
Fluorescence
damn i have no more clue.

Cell Theory:
1. All organisms are made up of cells
2. All Cells come from preexisting cells
3. Cells are the basic unit of life.

Other things about Cells
I remember there are 9 things about this...

1. Cells use energy
2. Cells react to stimuli
3. Cells reproduce
4. Cells can regulate
5. Cells can make internal changes (hormones/enzymes)
6. Cells (shit, cant rmb le) have genes
7. Cells... zzzz
8.
9.



Chapter 2:
Membrane Structure and Function

Cell membrane there to separate internal and external environment
As for other membranes, like to ensure localisation of organelles peroxisomes, mitochondria

Fluid Mosaic Model: Fluid meant by the fact that phospholipids can move around all over the place laterally on the surface. Mosaic referring to the array of proteins on the fluid layer.

Thermo-regulation:
1. Kinks in lipid tail of phospholipids: prevent solidification by preventing the phospholipids from packing.
2. Cholesterol: At high temperatures, they restrain the movement of phospholipids
At low temperatures, they prevent solidification by prevention of
packing.

Molecules cross the layer via.

1. Passive transport (diffusion, facilitated diffusion{channel diffusion, carrier diffusion})

2. Active transport (against the concentration gradient) require hydrolyzing of ATP

Proteins
Peripheral and Integral (GG, math)
Peripheral--> on the layer, (signal transduction, support(connected to cytoskeleton)
Integral --> Ampiphatic, either all the way through or just one side. Used for transport mainly, as above. Other uses too like Cell to cell recognition, cell to cell adhesion, adhesion to ECM(same way as connection to cytoskeleton: for maintaining shape)

Other uses of Proteins, catalyst for reactions (enzymes), damn, i think im missing out on stuff too...

That's all eh?

Correction time!

Key

I believe that you don't have to find that key. when you are ready, the key would present itself to you.

Irae

I think Irae means wrath. Cos Dies seems more like "day" then wrath LOL

WOW, a lot of different poems and songs called Dies Irae. Guess there is that certain appeal to judgement day? xD

Dies Irae (translated)

Spanish to chinese

我挂晾
来自太阳的记忆
我做了招标
昨天的怀旧

而且我不会哀悼
但我不能忘记
所有荒凉
这带来的海神

哦！

模具irae马力士放逐法师是（X5的）
放逐法师是

当太阳的呼喊
她的眼泪
黄金和痛苦

融白人
盖亚是淬火和哭泣

地球出汗恐怖死亡
白贪婪的上帝的名义
天空在哭泣，我做的水坑
我觉得我的生命在我面前溜走

不要忘了我
现在我要去一个遥远的地方
当你感到恐惧
如果没有告别生活

我将离开
安装在海风
我住在你的记忆
并睡在你的心

现在我的火山，自然灾害
全球变暖
没有人能淹没我的哭泣声
好吧，昨天获悉愤怒游泳

不要忘了我
现在我要去一个遥远的地方
当你感到恐惧
如果没有告别生活

我将离开
安装在海风
我住在你的记忆
并睡在你的心

和黎明，黑暗死亡
我要回来，我会飓风
我挂晾我对太阳复仇
最后达到最终报复

哦！

不要忘了我
现在我要去一个遥远的地方
当你感到恐惧
如果没有告别生活

我将离开
安装在海风
我住在你的记忆
并睡在你的心

马力士放逐法师是模具Irae（的X3）

Chinese seems more poetic than english translation so yea. AND DONT ASK ME FOR THE MEANING OF IRAE

Dies Irae

He puesto a secar
Los recuerdos frente al sol
He puesto a tender
La nostalgia del ayer

Y no voy a llorar
Pero no podré olvidar
Toda la desolación
Que los dioses trajeron del mar

¡Ohh!

Dies irae Malleus Maleficarum es (x5)
Maleficarum es

Cuando llora el sol
Sus lágrimas son
Oro y dolor

Se deshace el hombre blanco
se sació y gaia lloró

Muere la tierra sudando terror
La codicia del blanco en nombre de Dios
El cielo llora hace charcos y yo
Siento que se me escapa la vida ante mí

No te olvides de mí
Ahora voy hacia un lugar
En donde no existe el miedo
Donde no vive el adiós

Me marcharé
Montado en la brisa del mar
Yo viviré en tu memoria
Y dormiré en tu corazón

Ahora soy volcán, desastre natural
Calentamiento global
Ya nadie puede mis gritos ahogar
Pues ayer aprendieron de rabia nadar

No te olvides de mí
Ahora voy hacia un lugar
En donde no existe el miedo
Donde no vive el adiós

Me marcharé
Montado en la brisa del mar
Yo viviré en tu memoria
Y dormiré en tu corazón

Y al amanecer, al morir la oscuridad
Yo regresaré, yo seré el huracán
He puesto a secar mi venganza frente al sol
Llegará al fin la venganza final

¡Ohh!

No te olvides de mí
Ahora voy hacia un lugar
En donde no existe el miedo
Donde no vive el adiós

Me marcharé
Montado en la brisa del mar
Yo viviré en tu memoria
Y dormiré en tu corazón

Dies irae Malleus Maleficarum es (x3)

Loyal to No One

I first meet this man at the Capen street Tracks
In no shape for success headed nowhere to fast

He may have been someone once by the sound of his call
Now he answers to no one
NO-ONE AT ALL!

We all die alone, he shouted as he passed
With no sense of regret, see he never looked back

Though his pride was wounded, his ego was strong
Yea that was his Trouble and this is his Song

You said we die alone, in this case you were right
No friends by your side or family in sight
There'll be no talking your way out this time
So don't count the cash cause you leave it behind

His friends come and go like the seasons and tide
He can't keep a women they all realize
He loves them, leaves them, takes what he needs
He's loyal to no one, no one at all

You were brought up well still in spite of it all
You're touched by nothing, watch a man fall
Put a foot on his back to get a better view
Cause your loyal to No-one. NO-ONE BUT YOU!

You said we die alone, in this case you were right
No friends by your side or family in sight
There'll be no talking your way out this time
So don't count the cash cause you leave it behind

He was broken and tired wouldn't take a hand
Their kindness was simple but he couldn't understand

See it's hard to have faith in something so new
When your loyal to no one, NO-ONE BUT YOU!

You said we die alone, in this case you were right
No friends by your side or family in sight
There'll be no talking your way out this time
So don't count the cash cause you leave it behind

You said we die alone, in this case you were right
No friends by your side or family in sight

Okay, so yesterday was quite screwed up

I just feel like no one cares about me and i am just this second grade doll which anyone can come pick up and play with me while they are bored, and throw me away when a better toy comes.

Yea sure, it's true that's what i normally give people the impression of eh? like, "hey, im here yea, when you need me, im here" so yea, when people need me, im there for them.

AND THEN when i need them, i dont go around crawling for help and comfort. just not my type, why should i go around getting help from others? Can't i fix my own problems, cant i just fix myself?

True, i do go around getting help from others, but it stops after a while, and im gonna make sure it stops here and now totally.

I shall hope for nothing, and let's see how this works out.

Life.

Life's tough. But make no mistake, it ain't gonna get any easier. Hell I wont be surprised if it gets much tougher. What i do know though, is that the only way to face the shit now, and the shit coming in, is to toughen up, YES, toughen up!

That's the only way to keep oneself going~

Toughening up for those one cares about and for

Last School Wednesday before Exams

Well...

yesterday was... BAD

heh, but it turns out that no matter how many bad things can happen in a day, each bad thing can't last that long, 1 minute time, and i can choose to let it go, or continue wallowing in misery and sorrow and emo shit and frustration and anger and disappointment. Well, yea, i just mentioned all the negative emotions i had yesterday

What good emotions did i feel? i felt bliss for a while, peace for a while too, actually kinda overlapped to today, but yea.

OMG, now im damn touched and happy~~

Weekend 23/24 April 2011

I have totally slacked off the weekend...

Hug

I really need a reassuring hug now...

11.58

你在哪儿？D：